eagerness as though they were so many lawyers seeking some judicial
appointment, and Mrs. Bumpkin were Lord High Chancellor of Great Britain;
and they made as much row as a flock of Chancery Barristers arguing about
costs. Then came along, with many a grunt and squeak, a pig or two, who
seemed to be enjoying a Sunday holiday in their best clothes, for they
had just come out of a puddle of mud; then came slouching along, a young
man whose name was Joe (or, more correctly speaking, Joseph Wurzel), a
young man of about seventeen, well built, tall and straight, with a
pleasant country farm-house face, a roguish black eye, even teeth, and a
head of brown straight hair, that looked as if the only attention it ever
received was an occasional trimming with a reap-hook, and a brush with a
bush-harrow.

It was just feeding time; that was why Joe came up at this moment; and in
addition to all these circumstances, there came faintly booming through
the trees the ding of the old church bell, reminding Mr. Bumpkin that he
must "goo and smarten oop a bit" for church. He already had on his
purple cord trousers, and, as Joe termed it, his hell-fire waistcoat with
the flames coming out of it in all directions; but he had to put on his
drab "cooat" and white smock-frock, and then walk half a mile before
service commenced. He always liked to be there before the Squire, and
see him and his daughters, Miss Judith and Miss Mary, come in.

So he had to leave the question of the "walley" of the pig and attend to
the more important interests of his immortal soul. But now as he was
going comes the point to which the reader's special attention is
directed. He had got about six yards from the stye, or it may have been
a little more, when Snooks cried out:

"I've bought un for nine and six."

To which Mr. Bumpkin replied, without so much as turning his head--

"'Ave ur."

Now this expression, according to Chitty on Contracts, would mean, "Have
you, indeed? Mr. Snooks." But the extreme cunning of Josiah converted it
into "'Ave un," which, by the same learned authority would signify, "Very
well, Mr. Snooks, you can have him."

CHAPTER II.

The simplicity and enjoyments of a country life depicted.

A quiet day was Sunday on Southwood Farm. Joe used to slumber in the
meadows among the buttercups, or in the loft, or near the kitchen-fire,
as the season and weather invited. That is to say, until such time as,
coming out of Sunday