ngs at Master O'Rapley. Let us calmly follow
this dream, and endeavour to profit by its lessons without finding fault
with its actors."

"But I would like to have a better explanation of that Round Square,
nevertheless," muttered my wife as she went on with her knitting. So to
appease her I discoursed as follows:--

"The round square," said I, "means the inappropriate combination of
opposites."

"Now, not too long words," said she, "and not too much philosophy."

"Very well, my dear," I continued; "Don O'Rapley is right, not in his
particular instance, but in the general application of his meaning. Look
around upon the world, or so much of it as is comprised within our own
limited vision, and what do you find?"

"I find everything," said my wife, "beautifully ordered and arranged,
from the Archbishop of Canterbury to the Parish Beadle."

"What do you find?" I repeated. "Mark the O'Rapley's knowledge of human
nature, you not only find Waterloos won in the Cricket-field of Eton, but
Bishopricks and Secretaryships and many other glorious victories; so that
you might--"

"Don't be foolish; Trafalgar was not won in the Cricket-field."

"No, but it was fought on the Isis or the Cam, I forget which. But carry
the O'Rapley's theory into daily life, and test it by common observation,
what do you find? Why, that this round square is by no means a modern
invention. It has been worked in all periods of our history. Here is a
Vicar with a rich benefice, intended by nature for a Jockey or a
Whipper-in--"

"What, the benefice?"

"No, the Vicar! Here is a barrister who ought to have been a curate, and
become enthusiastic over worked slippers: there is another thrust into a
Government appointment, not out of respect to him, the Minister doesn't
know him, but to serve a political friend, or to place an investment in
the hands of a political rival, who will return it with interest on a
future day. The gentleman thus provided for at the country's expense
would, if left to himself, have probably become an excellent
billiard-marker or pigeon-shooter. Here is another, who, although a
member of Parliament, was elected by no constituency under Heaven or
above it; and it is clear he was intended by Nature for a position where
obsequiousness and servility meet with their appropriate reward. Another
fills the post of some awful Commissioner of something, drawing an
immense salary, and doing an immense amount of mischief for