ir?
Not air that nourishes and braces,
Such as one finds in watering-places,
But air to chill a polar bear--
Malignant air at sixty miles an hour
That rakes the carriage fore and aft,
Wherein we cower;
Not air at all, but sheer revengeful draught!
How canst thou like it? Say! How canst thou do it?

Thou even read'st a paper through it!

Know'st thou no pain?
Sciatica or rheumatism
Leading to balm or sinapism?
Doth influenza pass thee by?
Hast never cold or bloodshot eye
Like ordinary Christian folk
Who sit in draughts against their will
And pray they'll not be ill?
Even in tunnels (this is past a joke)
Thou car'st no rap
Nor, as a decent man would, pull'st the strap,
But lett'st the carriage fill with smoke
Till all but thou must choke.

Why art thou anti-social thus,
Why dost thou differ so from us?
Thou pig! thou hippopotamus!

I don't pretend to be satisfied with these lines. They are not strong,
not complete. Mr. JOYNSON-HICKS would have done it more fittingly. Still
they might do a little good somewhere, and every little helps.

* * * * *

OVERTIME.

"The evidence was that defendants employed six young persons for
more than seven days a week."--_Provincial Paper._

* * * * *

"The organist played as opening voluntaries the 'Bridal March'
from 'Lohengrin,' Barnaby's 'Bridal March' from 'Lohengrin,' and
Barnaby's 'Bridal March.'"

_Provincial Paper._

It was evidently BARNABY's. Still, we think WAGNER might have been
mentioned as his collaborator.

* * * * *

"In the current number of the _Commonwealth_ Canon Scott Holland
in his own inimical manner endorses all that Mr. Carey has been
writing in our columns recently."

_Clerical Paper._

The Canon appears to be one of those jolly people who slap you on the
back as if they would knock you down.

* * * * *

AT THE FRONT.

Of recent days we have almost stopped pretending to be soldiers and
owned up to being civilian labourers lodged in the War zone. This is
felt so acutely that several leading privates have quite discarded that
absolute attribute of the infantryman, the rifle. They return from
working parties completely unarmed, discover the fact with a mild and
but half-regretful astonishment and report the ci