ces. The search is rendered pleasant
as well as interesting by the fact that all the Brigade has been trodden
into a morass by months of shovel-hunting.

Beyond the Brigade the obstacles really begin. But if you use a revolver
freely for wire-cutting and rope your party together--this prevents
anyone sitting down by the wayside to take his boots off "because they
draws that bad"--you will reach the rendezvous assigned to you within an
hour of the time assigned to you. At this point you will learn that no
guide has been seen or heard of there, and, subsequently, that the guide
was warned for another square that certainly looks very similar on the
map. But again, if you know guides, you will guess that he went straight
to the spot where the job was to be done without bothering about
anything so intricate or superfluous as a rendezvous. Anyhow you will
probably end by getting some sort of casual labour somewhere, some time
or other, and no questions asked so long as you don't inadvertently dig
through from a main drain into a C.O.'s dugout.

There is a new joke too, a Red Book, out of which we are gradually
becoming millionaires. It is full of comfortable claims and allowances
for gentlemen serving the KING overseas. The only thing is it takes a
bit of working out. There are so many channels of enrichment. Thus in
June--I forget the exact date--I spent a night in the train. Although I
had a bed and beer in bottles all the way from England, not to mention
usual meals and part use of doctor, I became entitled to one franc ten
centimes in lieu of something which I have now forgotten. (Authority,
W.O. Letter 2719.) Then a broken revolver is worth no less than
seventy-two shillings, but I have to collect autographs to get that
Unclaimed groom's allowance--I don't think my groom has claimed
it--comes to nearly four-and-sixpence; and I find I have been quite
needlessly getting my hair cut at my own expense these many months.

And yet I am afraid that when have made it all out and got a chartered
accountant to account for it--that ought to mean a few pounds Chartered
Accountant allowance--my application will be returned to me because the
envelope is not that shade of mauve officially ordained for the
enclosure of Overseas Officers' Claims.

* * * * *

TO "LIFE" OF NEW YORK.

(_In acknowledgment of its "John Bull Number."_)

In earlier peaceful days your attitude
Was witty and satirical an