st W._ It ought to be bought up by Gover'ment, that it
ought--they're well able to afford it.

A select party of Philistines, comprising a young Man, apparently
in the Army, and his Mother and Sister, are examining Mr.
GILBERT'S Jubilee Trophy in a spirit of puzzled antipathy.

_The Mother_. Dear me, and _that_'s the Jubilee centrepiece, is it?
What a heavy-looking thing. I wonder what _that_ cost?

_Her Son_ (_gloomily_). Cost? Why, about two days' pay for every man
in the Service!

_His Mother_. Well, I call it a shame for the Army to be fleeced for
_that_ thing. Are those creatures intended for mermaids, with their
tails curled round that glass ball, I wonder? [She sniffs.

_Her Daughter_. I expect it will be crystal, Mother.

_Her Mother_. Very likely, my dear, but--glass or crystal--_I_ see no
sense in it!

_Daughter_. Oh, it's absurd, of course--still, this figure isn't badly
done, is it supposed to represent St. GEORGE carrying the Dragon?
Because they've made the Dragon no bigger than a salmon!

_Mother_. Ah, well, I hope HER MAJESTY will be better pleased with it
than I am, that's all.

[After which they fall into ecstasies over an industrial
exhibit, consisting of a drain-pipe, cunningly encrusted with
fragments of regimental mess-china set in gilded cement.

Before a large mechanical clock, representing a fortress, which
is striking. Trumpets sound, detachments of wooden soldiers march
in and out of gateways, and parade the battlements, clicking, for
a considerable time.

_A Spectator_ (_with a keen sense of the fitness of things_).
What--all that for on'y 'alf-past five!

OVERHEARD IN THE AMBULANCE DEPARTMENT.

_Spectators_ (_passing in front of groups of models arranged in
realistic surroundings_). All the faces screwed up to suffering, you
see!... What a nice patient expression that officer on the stretcher
has! Yes, they've given _him_ a wax head--some of them are only
_papier mache_.... Pity they couldn't get nearer their right size
in 'elmets, though, ain't it?... There's _one_ chap's given up the
ghost!... I know that stuffed elephant--he comes from the Indian
Jungle at the Colinderies!... I _do_ think it's a pity they couldn't
get something more _like_ a mule than this wooden thing! Why, it's
quite _flat_, and it's ears are only leather, nailed on!... You can't
tell, my dear; it may be a peculiar breed out there--cross between a
towel-horse and