.

* * * * *

A VALID EXCUSE.

[A Juror who failed to put in an attendance at the Old Bailey
sent an excuse that he was away on his honeymoon. The LORD MAYOR
declared this was a perfectly valid excuse.]

The sly Undergraduate, eager to be
Of Tutors and Deans an acute circumventist,
Has been known to declare, when he went on the spree,
'Twas to bury his uncle, or call on his dentist.

The husband who's ever in scrapes or in pickles,
And in coming home early displays a remissness,
Is wont, if it's safe to believe HARRY NICHOLLS,
To say he stayed out on "a matter of business."

The hero whose praises they constantly sound,
A Triton 'mongst minnows in prowess at cricket,
When bowled by a ball that did _not_ touch the ground,
Very frequently swears 'twas the state of the wicket!

And the Juryman, finding excuses were vain,
Of the Judge's displeasure has ever been fearful,
Since he knew it availed not a whit to complain--
He must be in his place, or pay up and look cheerful.

But the thought of a fine never more will produce
Consternation, nor ever again make him pallid.
In a Honeymoon now he has got an excuse,
And the LORD MAYOR pronounces it "perfectly valid"!

* * * * *

THE OPERA-GOER'S DIARY.

[Illustration]

NOTHING particular this week. Mlle. MELBA, the two DE RESZKES, and M.
LASSALLE sang, by Royal command, in the afternoon at Windsor Castle.
"Wasn't that a dainty dish to set before the QUEEN?" Rather. We meant
to wind up the week with _Le Prophete_, but JEAN DE RESZKE had caught
cold,--perhaps on the return journey from Windsor,--and so _Faust_ was
substituted, with MELBA as _Marguerite_, and RAVELLI the Reliable as
_Faust_. We are looking forward to _Hamlet_. "_To be or not to be_"?
Probably "to be." Highly successful Season gradually drawing to a
close. Where's _Masaniello_? Not heard it for years. It would come out
as quite a novelty. Let the Sheriff-elect look to it. If not for this
Season, let it mark the year of office of DRURIOLANUS OPERATICUS.

* * * * *

"PAROCHIAL" POLITICS INDEED!--Making over to a handful of Colonists
that would not fill many an English parish the "mighty mileage" of
Western Australia!

* * * * *

[Illustration: TOUCHING RECIPROCITY BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE.

EDWIN CARRI