at sheepish look because every one of them is morally
certain that he is a lamb being led to the slaughter.

A WIFE sort of loses her awe and admiration for men after she has seen
her husband without a collar and with his face covered with shaving
lather and his top hair sticking up in tufts.

[Illustration]

A MAN seldom discovers that he hasn't married his affinity until his
wife begins to get crow's-feet around the eyes.

IF YOU want to be really popular pat a bald man on the head; call an old
man "naughty boy"; treat a young man with timid respect; cling to a
little man like the vine to the mighty oak, and tell a fat man how you
love to dance with him.

THE man who declares a friend innocent even when he knows he is guilty,
and defends a woman's reputation even when it is scarcely worth
defending, is not written down a liar by the recording angel.

ODD how a man always gets remorse confused with reform; a cold bath, a
dose of bromo-selzer, and his wife's forgiveness will make him feel so
moral that he will begin to patronize you.

[Illustration]

IT'S as hard to get a man to stay home after you've married him as it
was to get him to go home before you married him.

A MAN hates emotions; when a girl pours her heart out to him he feels as
if she has emptied the warm water jug or the molasses cruet over him.

A WOMAN will lie to anybody else on earth sooner than to the man she
loves; but a man will lie to the woman he loves sooner than to anybody
else on earth.

MATRIMONY is a bargain--and somebody has got to get the worst of the
bargain.

THE most uncomfortable thing about being married is that you can never
tell whether your friends are envying you or pitying you.

[Illustration]

ALL a man asks for in the love-game is beginner's luck.

POKER and love are both games of bluff.

A MAN has so many more temptations than a woman--because he knows where
to go and find them.

A MAN will sit on the edge of the bed, holding one shoe in his hand and
gazing into space for half an hour, and then send the cook into
hysterics and the waitress into nervous prostration because he has only
ten minutes left in which to eat his breakfast.

MOST bridal couples pile enough honey into the first month of matrimony
to last a whole lifetime if thinned out and spread on economically.

[Illustration]

WONDER if Adam ever scolded Eve for her extravagance in fig leaves.

A BABY'S kisses taste of stale milk, a boy's of