ard for a girl, with her mind all made up and her thoughts
at the altar, to sit silently by and wait for the love idea to penetrate
the thick layers of resistance that cover the masculine brain.

AS long as Satan can make a woman believe that it is possible to reform
a rake and make a roue over into a doting husband the ladies will keep
his majesty's business running.

IF anything could make a woman willing to exchange her curves for a
little muscle it would be that maddening, "There, there, now!" attitude
with which the average man greets her righteous wrath.

MANY a man would be dumbfounded if he should discover that the ideal in
his wife's heart didn't have a double chin, a bald spot and turned-in
toes just like himself.

[Illustration]

THE music of the spheres isn't loud enough to drown the din of some
matrimonial squabbles.

A KNOWLEDGE of all the ologies and isms isn't worth half as much to a
girl in the game of life as a knowledge of how to use her eyes and how
to keep her pompadour in curl.

WHEN a man discovers that a woman knows more than he does it strikes him
dumb--but not with admiration.

HEART-TO-HEART talks between platonic friends are as apt to lead to
lip-to-lip silences that Plato never dreamed of.

MAN may be the noblest work of God--in the abstract; but in a bathing
suit--well, it takes blind love to make a girl think he looks like that.

[Illustration]

A MAN'S surprise at the calmness with which his wife receives the
announcement that he has failed in business is only equaled by his
astonishment at her hysteria when a dress comes home that doesn't fit.

A GIRL always keeps a tender spot in her heart for the man she has once
loved; but to a man nothing is so cold as cooled affection.

YOU would fancy a girl were a species of ostrich from the amount of
flattery a man feeds her before marriage and the two-edged cynicisms he
expects her to swallow afterward.

THE average woman goes from the altar into total eclipse from which she
never emerges until she becomes a widow--since husbands never look at
their wives and other men don't dare.

[Illustration]

THE man who is most in love is most apt to get over it, just as the man
who drinks most champagne has the worst headache next morning.

ALL this talk about trial marriages seems so superfluous--considering
that marriage has always been a trial.

A MAN'S sense of honor is so peculiar that it gets out of working
condition the minut