hall be tenpence a
quart this winter. Not by us.

* * *

The War Office announces that Arabs in Southern Mesopotamia have
captured a British armoured train. It should be pointed out to these
Arab rebels that it is such behaviour as this that discourages the
tourist spirit.

* * *

Upon reading that another lady had failed in her attempt to swim the
Channel a Scotsman inquires whether the Cross-Channel steamer rates
have been increased, like everything else.

* * *

We are informed that at a football match recently played in the
Rhondda Valley the referee won.

* * *

General OBREGON, says an unofficial message, has been elected
President of Mexico. The startling report that he has decided to
reverse the safe policy of his predecessors and recognise the United
States requires corroboration.

* * *

Everybody should economise after a great war, says an American film
producer. We always do our best after every great war.

* * *

According to an official report only fifty policemen were bitten by
dogs in London last week. The falling off is said to be due to the
fact that it has been rather a good year for young and tender postmen.

* * *

Some highly-strung persons, says a medical writer, are even afraid of
inanimate objects. This accounts for many nervous people being afraid
of venturing too near a plumber.

* * *

"I only want the potatoes in the allotment and not the earth," said a
complainant at Deptford. It is evident that, if this man is a trade
unionist, he is a raw amateur.

* * *

Doctors at Vicenza have threatened to strike. This means that people
in that neighbourhood will have to die without medical assistance.

* * *

"Chief Hailstorm," of the Texas Rangers, has arrived in London. His
brother, Chief Rainstorm, has, of course, been with us most of the
summer.

* * *

Girls, declares a well-known City caterer, are acquiring bigger
appetites. We somehow suspected that the demand for a return of the
wasp waist had influential interests behind it.

* * *

The wife of a miner in Warwickshire has recently presented her husband
with three baby boys. We understand that Mr. SMILLIE is sorry to have
missed three extra strike-votes which he would have obtained had the
boys been born a little earlier.

* * *

An extraordinary story reaches us from North London. It appears that
during the build