ards
the beach. The crowd on the pavement, regretfully convinced that the
entertainment is at an end, disperses slowly. Rolls-Royce, seemingly
unconscious of the interest of Charteris and our host, who are looking
at him covertly as at some zoological specimen, relights his cigar and
sits glowering across the road, and silence falls upon the scene--a
silence broken at last by the lady in the diamonds, who has resumed
her languid pose in the wicker-chair.

"'Orrible people!" she observes, addressing the occupants of the porch
generally. "Nice state o' things when you can't even be safe from 'em
in yer own 'otel. You don't seem to be able to get away from these
low-class people hanywhere--you don't reely!"

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Energetic Motor-Cyclist._ "WHY THE DEUCE DON'T YOU SIT
STILL? YOU'LL HAVE US OVER IN A MINUTE."]

* * * * *

40-1920 A.D.

CALIGULA the man (quite mad, of course)
Conferred the consulship upon his horse.

Caligula the colt (a trifle saner)
Makes kings of jockey, purchaser and trainer.

Sanity counts; I raise my cup of massic
Not to the earlier but the later "classic."

* * * * *

=Journalistic Modesty.=

"I was his [Irving's] guest regularly at all Lyceum first nights for
a whole quarter of a century.... He delighted in the company of
third-rate people."

_C.K.S. in "The Sphere."_

* * * * *

[Illustration: _The Master._ "TCHA! THIS BACON TASTES SIMPLY BEASTLY."

_The Mistress._ "GLADYS, WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE BACON WE SET ASIDE
FOR POISONING THE RATS?"]

* * * * *

FASHION AND PHYSIQUE.

The heightened stature of women was a favourite topic in
anthropometric circles long before the War. It seems, however, that
they are not going to rest content with their present standard of
altitude, but are invoking the resources of Art to render it even more
conspicuous. We do not speak rashly or without book. _The Evening
News_ announced on September 8th that "Women are to be taller this
autumn." Nature may be in the Fall, but women are on the rise. The
mode by which this effect of elongation--so dear to Art--is to be
attained is described in detail by the Paris correspondent of our
contemporary as follows:--

"A fluffy and very high head-dress will be worn this autumn. The
effect is obtained by t