on it; he would rather pay than not."

At this point Peter grew tired of refraining from comment. "I don't
want you to suppose," he said, "that I am taking any interest in your
fatuous scheme, but doesn't it occur to you that under your system it
would be simply ruinous to have any virtues at all, and that the only
people who would flourish would be those who had no virtues and were
not ashamed of it?"

"For one thing," I replied confidently, "the taxes would be graduated
in the ordinary way in accordance with means. The slightest flicker of
a conscience in Park Lane would be more heavily mulcted than the most
blameless life in Bermondsey. But the main point is that under my
system taxation would become the measure of a man's moral worth, and
people who did not pay taxes would be simply out of it. All the
plums would go the highly-taxed men. Their tax receipts would be
certificates of character, and the more they earned the more the
Treasury would be able to get out of them. So far from dodging
taxation, people would scramble to pay it."

"But how," asked Hilda, "would you make the tax receipt a trustworthy
testimonial? Your rich man with one virtue would have a better receipt
than your poor one with ten."

"The virtues taxed would be shown on the receipt," I replied.
"Besides, poor and virtuous men would, as I have suggested, get an
abatement on their virtue taxes, and the amount of the abatement would
be shown on the receipt. So it could easily be seen what proportion a
man was paying on his wealth and what on his virtues."

"Look here," said Peter, aroused at last, "do you convey that the
tobacco duty would be paid by people who didn't smoke?"

"It would amount to that," I answered, "assuming that abstention from
tobacco were counted a virtue."

"There may be something in it after all," said Peter.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Fisherman._ "THERE ARE PLENTY OF FISH, BUT YOU'VE GOT
TO FISH DRY TO CATCH THEM."

_American Friend._ "SAY, YOU MAKE ME REAL HOMESICK."]

* * * * *

NEW RHYMES FOR OLD CHILDREN.

THE CHAMELEON.

The chameleon changes his colour;
He can look like a tree or a wall;
He is timid and shy and he hates to be seen,
So he simply sits down in the grass and goes green,
And pretends he is nothing at all.

I wish I could change my complexion
To purple or orange or red;
I wish I could look lik