thanked
by men of rheumatic tendencies as well as by women of arctic pedal
extremities for this timely discovery. There is no woman who enjoys
seeing her husband in the throes of rheumatic pains, and now that they
know that their cold feet have brought about so much suffering, we trust
they will try and lead a different life.

Of course we do not expect any woman is going to bed and leave her feet
out on the floor, or under a coal stove. This could not be expected. But
they can adopt some method to soften the rigors of a hard winter. They
can paint their feet a nice warm color or have a summer sunset painted
on the instep, or a fire-place on the bottom of their feet. Anything
that will make their feet seem warm will be a relief to their rheumatic
husbands. A pair of zinc overshoes to wear in bed would help some very
cold feet several degrees.

Men are too valuable to be crippled up with rheumatism just for the
temporary comfort they can confer upon their wives by allowing the small
of their backs to be used in lieu of a grate fire. We trust that the
cold footed portion of our female population will look at this matter in
its true light, and if necessary leave their feet in the porter's room
at bed time and get a check for them.

HOW A GROCERY MAN WAS MAIMED.

The shooting of the grocery man at Appleton, by the man to whom he
presented a bill, reminds us of the only grocery man we ever maimed for
presenting a bill. His name was Smith, and he lived at La Crosse. We
presume there have been meaner men built than this man Smith was at that
time, though how it could be possible we cannot see. We had run up quite
a bill at his grocery, and were willing to keep trading right along, but
somehow he got wormy, and said that this thing had to stop.

We told him we never traded with him because we wanted his goods, but
just to give him the benefit of our society, and we pointed out to him
the injury it would be to his business to have us quit trading at his
store. We told him that people would think that he had cheated us, and
they would not come there any more. He said he knew it would be pretty
tough, but he would try and struggle along under it.

Well, there was no use arguing, and finally by helping him do his chores
we got the bill all paid but a dollar and a half, and then he began his
persecutions. He called us a baldheaded old catamaran. He would follow
us into a saloon, when some one treated, and take our glass