e transcribe the passage: "One day Bill
Tomkins[006] and I were left alone in the house, the old
doctor being out; after playing a number of pranks Bill laid
me a bet of sixpence that I wouldn't pour a bottle of ink
over the doctor's cat. _I did it_, but at that moment
old Muggles came home, and caught me by the ear as I
attempted to run away. My sensations at the moment I shall
never forget; _on that occasion I received my first
ear-ring_.[007] The only remark Bill made to me, as he
paid me the money afterwards was, 'I say, didn't you just
howl jolly!'" The engraving is an excellent copy of the
picture.

[Illustration: Sir D. Wilkie Painter The First Earring.
W. Greatbach Engraver. _from the picture in the Vernon Gallery_]

The best thing in the _Rectory Umbrella_ was a parody on Lord
Macaulay's style in the "Lays of Ancient Rome"; Charles had a special
aptitude for parody, as is evidenced by several of the best-known
verses in his later books.

LAYS OF SORROW.

No. 2.

Fair stands the ancient[008] Rectory,
The Rectory of Croft,
The sun shines bright upon it,
The breezes whisper soft.
From all the house and garden
Its inhabitants come forth,
And muster in the road without,
And pace in twos and threes about,
The children of the North.

Some are waiting in the garden,
Some are waiting at the door,
And some are following behind,
And some have gone before.
But wherefore all this mustering?
Wherefore this vast array?
A gallant feat of horsemanship
Will be performed to-day.

To eastward and to westward,
The crowd divides amain,
Two youths are leading on the steed,
Both tugging at the rein;
And sorely do they labour,
For the steed[009] is very strong,
And backward moves its stubborn feet,
And backward ever doth retreat,
And drags its guides along.

And now the knight hath mounted,
Before the admiring band,
Hath got the stirrups on his feet.
The bridle in his hand.
Yet, oh! beware, sir horseman!
And tempt thy fate no more,
For such a steed as thou hast got,
Was never rid before!

The rabbits[010] bow before thee.
And cower in the straw;