n feel like a bull in a china shop. Do you think the little
fellow will shake hands with me? I was really only joking."

"But surely he will," said Miss Bailey, as she glanced down at the
tangle of dark curls resting against her breast. "Morris, dear, aren't
you going to say good-by to the gentleman?"

Morris relaxed one hand from its grasp on his lady and bestowed it on
Mr. O'Shea.

"Good-by," said he gently. "I gives you presents, from gold presents,
the while you're friends mit Teacher. I'm loving much mit her, too."

At this moment the Principal turned, and Mr. O'Shea, in a desperate
attempt to retrieve his dignity, began: "As to class management and
discipline--"

But the Principal was not to be deceived.

"Don't you think, Mr. O'Shea," said he, "that you and I had better leave
the management of the little ones to the women? You have noticed,
perhaps, that this is Nature's method."

[Footnote 3: From _Little Citizens_; reprinted by permission of McClure,
Phillips & Company.

Copyright 1903 by the S.S. McClure Company.

Copyright 1904 by McClure, Phillips & Company.]

THE GENIAL IDIOT SUGGESTS A COMIC OPERA

BY JOHN KENDRICK BANGS

"There's a harvest for you," said the Idiot, as he perused a recently
published criticism of a comic opera. "There have been thirty-nine new
comic operas produced this year and four of 'em were worth seeing. It is
very evident that the Gilbert and Sullivan industry hasn't gone to the
wall whatever slumps other enterprises have suffered from."

"That is a goodly number," said the Poet. "Thirty-nine, eh? I knew there
was a raft of them, but I had no idea there were as many as that."

"Why don't you go in and do one, Mr. Poet?" suggested the Idiot. "They
tell me it's as easy as rolling off a log. All you've got to do is to
forget all your ideas and remember all the old jokes you ever heard.
Slap 'em together around a lot of dances, write two dozen lyrics about
some Googoo Belle, hire a composer, and there you are. Hanged if I
haven't thought of writing one myself."

"I fancy it isn't as easy as it looks," observed the Poet. "It requires
just as much thought to be thoughtless as it does to be thoughtful."

"Nonsense," said the Idiot. "I'd undertake the job cheerfully if some
manager would make it worth my while, and what's more, if I ever got
into the swing of the business I'll bet I could turn out a libretto a
day for three days of the week for the next two months.