Unheeding all Obstacles in his Mad Career, his Automobile ran into a
Wall of Rock, and was dashed to Pieces. Also, the young Man was killed.

The Other Young Man, being of a Timorous and Careful Disposition,
started off with great Caution and Rode at a Slow Pace, pausing now and
then, Lest he might Run into Something.

The Result was, that Two Automobiles and an Ice Wagon ran into him from
behind, spoiling his Car and Killing the Cautious Young Man.

MORALS:

This Fable teaches Us, The More Haste The Less Speed, and Delays Are
Dangerous.

THE NEW VERSION

BY W.J. LAMPTON

A soldier of the Russians
Lay japanned at Tschrtzvkjskivitch,
There was lack of woman's nursing
And other comforts which
Might add to his last moments
And smooth the final way;--
But a comrade stood beside him
To hear what he might say.
The japanned Russian faltered
As he took that comrade's hand,
And he said: "I never more shall see
My own my native land;
Take a message and a token
To some distant friends of mine,
For I was born at Smnlxzrskgqrxzski,
Fair Smnlxzrskgqrxzski on the Irkztrvzkimnov."

SOUTHERN SKETCHES

BY BILL ARP

JIM ALLCORN

I was only thinkin' how much better it is to be in a lively humor than
be goin' about like a disappointed offis seeker. Good humor is a blessed
thing in a family and smooths down a heap of trubble. I never was mad
but a few times in my life, and then I wasn't mad long. Foaks thought I
was mad when I fout Jim Allcorn, but I wasent. I never had had any
grudge agin Jim. He had never done me any harm, but I could hear of his
sayin' around in the naborhood that Bill Arp had played cock of the walk
long enuf. So one day I went over to Chulio court ground to joak with
the boys, and shore enuf Jim was there, and I soon perseeved that the
devil was in him. He had never been whipped by anybody in the distrikt,
and he outweighed me by about fifteen pounds. A drink or two had made
him sassy, and so he commenced walkin' around first to one crowd, and
then to another, darin' anybody to fite him. He would pint to his
forrerd and say, "I'll give anybody five dollars to hit that." I was
standin' tawkin' to Frank Air and John Johnsin, and as nobody took up
Jim's offer, thinks says I to myself, if he cums round here a huntin'
for a fite he shall have one, by golly. If he dares me to hit him I'll
do it if it's th