e noise;
but in my heart I knew that I ought to bear it tranquilly, both
for the love of God and to avoid giving pain. So I kept quiet, but
the effort cost me so much that sometimes I was bathed in
perspiration, and my meditation consisted merely in suffering with
patience. After a time I tried to endure it in peace and joy, at
least deep down in my soul, and I strove to take actual pleasure
in the disagreeable little noise. Instead of trying not to hear
it, which was impossible, I set myself to listen, as though it had
been some delightful music, and my meditation--which was not the
"prayer of quiet"--was passed in offering this music to Our Lord.

Another time I was working in the laundry, and the Sister
opposite, while washing handkerchiefs, repeatedly splashed me with
dirty water. My first impulse was to draw back and wipe my face,
to show the offender I should be glad if she would behave more
quietly; but the next minute I thought how foolish it was to
refuse the treasures God offered me so generously, and I refrained
from betraying my annoyance. On the contrary, I made such efforts
to welcome the shower of dirty water, that at the end of half an
hour I had taken quite a fancy to this novel kind of aspersion,
and I resolved to come as often as I could to the happy spot where
such treasures were freely bestowed.

Dear Mother, you see that I am a very little soul, who can only
offer very little things to Our Lord. It still happens that I
frequently let slip the occasion of these slender sacrifices,
which bring so much peace, but this does not discourage me; I bear
the loss of a little peace, and I try to be more watchful for the
future.

How happy does Our Lord make me, and how sweet and easy is His
service on this earth! He has always given me what I desired, or
rather He has made me desire what He wishes to give. A short time
before my terrible temptation against Faith, I had reflected how
few exterior trials, worthy of mention, had fallen to my lot, and
that if I were to have interior trials, God must change my path;
and this I did not think He would do. Yet I could not always live
at ease. Of what means, then, would He make use?

I had not long to wait for an answer, and it showed me that He
whom I love is never at a loss, for without changing my way, He
sent me this great trial; and thus mingled a healing bitterness
with all the sweet.
______________________________

[1] Cf. Rom. 8:15.

[2] Exod. 9:16