s
anxiety to seize the first opportunity of setting ourselves free shows
ingratitude; for no one repays with good will that which he is unwilling
to owe, and his eagerness to get it out of his hands shows that he
regards it as a burden rather than as a favour. How much better and more
righteous is it to bear in mind what we owe to our friends, and to offer
repayment, not to obtrude it, nor to think ourselves too much indebted;
because a benefit is a common bond which connects two persons. Say "I do
not delay to repay your kindness to me; I hope that you will accept my
gratitude cheerfully. If irresistible fate hangs over either of us, and
destiny rules either that you must receive your benefit back again, or
that I must receive a second benefit, why then, of us two, let him give
that was wont to give. I am ready to receive it.

"'Tis not the part of Turnus to delay."

That is the spirit which I shall show whenever the time comes; in the
meanwhile the gods shall be my witnesses.

XLII. I have noted in you, my Liberalis, and as it were touched with my
hand a feeling of fussy anxiety not to be behindhand in doing what is
your duty. This anxiety is not suitable to a grateful mind, which,
on the contrary, produces the utmost confidence in oneself, and which
drives away all trouble by the consciousness of real affection towards
one's benefactor. To say "Take back what you gave me," is no less
a reproach than to say "You are in my debt." Let this be the first
privilege of a benefit, that he who bestowed it may choose the time when
he will have it returned. "But I fear that men may speak ill of me." You
do wrong if you are grateful only for the sake of your reputation, and
not to satisfy your conscience. You have in this matter two judges, your
benefactor, whom you ought not, and yourself, whom you cannot deceive.
"But," say you, "if no occasion of repayment offers, am I always to
remain in his debt?" Yes; but you should do so openly, and willingly,
and should view with great pleasure what he has entrusted to you. If you
are vexed at not having yet returned a benefit, you must be sorry that
you ever received it; but if he deserved that you should receive a
benefit from him, why should he not deserve that you should long remain
in his debt?

XLIII. Those persons are much mistaken who regard it as a proof of a
great mind to make offers to give, and to fill many men's pockets and
houses with their presents, for sometimes the