inding our friends of their duty." I shall
nevertheless make use of this right of friendship, and I shall demand
the return of a benefit from any man from whom I would not have scrupled
to ask for one, such a man as would regard the power of returning a
benefit as equivalent to receiving a second one. Never, not even when
complaining of him, would I say,

"A wretch forlorn upon the shore he lay,
His ship, his comrades, all were swept away;
Fool that I was, I pitied his despair,
And even gave him of my realm a share."

This is not to remind, but to reproach; this is to make one's benefits
odious to enable him, or even to make him wish to be ungrateful. It is
enough, and more than enough, to remind him of it gently and familiarly:

"If aught of mine hath e'er deserved thy thanks."

To this his answer would be, "Of course you have deserved my thanks; you
took me up, 'a wretch forlorn upon the shore.'"

XXVI. "But," says our adversary, "suppose that we gain nothing by this;
suppose that he pretends that he has forgotten it, what ought I to do?"
You now ask a very necessary question, and one which fitly concludes
this branch of the subject, how, namely, one ought to bear with the
ungrateful. I answer, calmly, gently, magnanimously. Never let any one's
discourtesy, forgetfulness, or ingratitude, enrage you so much that you
do not feel any pleasure at having bestowed a benefit upon him; never
let your wrongs drive you into saying, "I wish I had not done it." You
ought to take pleasure even in the ill-success of your benefit; he will
always be sorry for it, even though you are not even now sorry for it.
You ought not to be indignant, as if something strange had happened; you
ought rather to be surprised if it had not happened. Some are prevented
by difficulties, some by expense, and some by danger from returning your
bounty; some are hindered by a false shame, because by returning it,
they would confess that they had received it; with others ignorance of
their duty, indolence, or excess of business, stands in the way. Reflect
upon the insatiability of men's desires. You need not be surprised if no
one repays you in a world in which no one ever gains enough. What man is
there of so firm and trustworthy a mind that you can safely invest your
benefits in him? One man is crazed with lust, another is the slave of
his belly, another gives his whole soul to gain, caring nothing for the
means by which he amasses it; s