if he knows they have become bankrupt, and,
to their shame, have nothing but shame left to lose; and I, like him,
should pass over those who are openly and obstinately ungrateful, and
would demand repayment only from those who were likely to give it me,
not from those from whom I should have to extort it by force.

XXII. There are many who cannot deny that they have received a benefit,
yet cannot return it--men who are not good enough to be termed grateful,
nor yet bad enough to be termed ungrateful; but who are dull and
sluggish, backward debtors, though not defaulters. Such men as these I
should not ask for repayment, but forcibly remind them of it, and, from
a state of indifference, bring them back to their duty. They would at
once reply, "Forgive me; I did not know, by Hercules, that you missed
this, or I would have offered it of my own accord, I beg that you will
not think me ungrateful; I remember your goodness to me." Why need I
hesitate to make such men as these better to themselves and to me? I
would prevent any one from doing wrong, if I were able; much more would
I prevent a friend, both lest he should do wrong, and lest he should
do wrong to me in particular. I bestow a second benefit upon him by not
permitting him to be ungrateful; and I should not reproach him harshly
with what I had done for him, but should speak as gently as I could. In
order to afford him an opportunity of returning my kindness, I
should refresh his remembrance of it, and ask for a benefit; he would
understand that I was asking for repayment. Sometimes I would make use
of somewhat severe language, if I had any hope that by it he might be
amended; though I would not irritate a hopelessly ungrateful man, for
fear that I might turn him into an enemy. If we spare the ungrateful
even the affront of reminding them of their conduct, we shall render
them' more backward in returning benefits; and although some might
be cured of their evil ways, and be made into good men, if their
consciences were stung by remorse, yet we shall allow them to perish for
want of a word of warning, with which a father sometimes corrects
his son, a wife brings back to herself an erring husband, or a man
stimulates the wavering fidelity of his friend.

XXIII. To awaken some men, it is only necessary to stir them, not to
strike them; in like manner, with some men, the feeling of honour about
returning a benefit is not extinct, but slumbering. Let us rouse it. "Do
not,