to himself expends nothing, just
as he who receives a benefit from himself gains nothing. A benefit
and gratitude for it must pass to and fro between two persons; their
interchange cannot take place within one man. He who returns a kindness
does good in his turn to him from whom he has received something;
but the man who returns his own kindness, to whom does he do good?
To himself? Is there any one who does not regard the returning of a
kindness, and the bestowal of a benefit, as distinct acts? 'He who
returns a kindness to himself does good to himself.' Was any man ever
unwilling to do this, even though he were ungrateful? nay, who ever was
ungrateful from any other motive than this? "If," it is argued, "we are
right in thanking ourselves, we ought to return our own kindness;"
yet we say, "I am thankful to myself for having refused to marry that
woman," or "for having refused to join a partnership with that man."
When we speak thus, we are really praising ourselves, and make use
of the language of those who return thanks to approve our own acts. A
benefit is something which, when given, may or may not be returned.
Now, he who gives a benefit to himself must needs receive what he gives;
therefore, this is not a benefit. A benefit is received at one time, and
is returned at another; (but when a man bestows a benefit upon himself,
he both receives it and returns it at the same time). In a benefit,
too, what we commend and admire is, that a man has for the time being
forgotten his own interests, in order that he may do good to another;
that he has deprived himself of something, in order to bestow it upon
another. Now, he who bestows a benefit upon himself does not do this.
The bestowal of a benefit is an act of companionship--it wins some man's
friendship, and lays some man under an obligation; but to bestow it upon
oneself is no act of companionship--it wins no man's friendship, lays
no man under an obligation, raises no man's hopes, or leads him to
say, "This man must be courted; he bestowed a benefit upon that person,
perhaps he will bestow one upon me also." A benefit is a thing which
one gives not for one's own sake, but for the sake of him to whom it is
given; but he who bestows a benefit upon himself, does so for his own
sake; therefore, it is not a benefit.

XII. Now I seem to you not to have made good what I said at the
beginning of this book. You say that I am far from doing what is worth
any one's while; nay,