f each other."

"Ah," said he, with a wave of his hand and a shake of his head, "that
is a topic that is difficult to discuss. Naturally if this woman sees
him taking to that woman, this one is going to eat vinegar."

They do "eat vinegar," but perhaps as little of it as any people who
live in the way in which they live, for the Chinese have organized
their home life as nearly on a governmental basis as any people in the
world.

In addition to the wife and concubines, each son when he marries brings
his wife home to a parental court, and all these sisters-in-law, or
daughters-in-law add so much to the complications of living, for each
must have her own retinue of servants.

Young people in China are all engaged by their parents without their
knowledge or consent. This was very unsatisfactory to the young people
of the old regime, and it is being modified in the new. One day one of
my students in discussing this matter said to me:

"Our method of getting a wife is very much better than either the old
Chinese method or your foreign method."

"How is that?" I asked.

"Well," said he, "according to the old Chinese custom a man could never
see his wife until she was brought to his house. But we can see the
girls in public meetings, we have sisters in the girls' school, they
have brothers in the college, and when we go home during vacation we
can learn all about each other."

"But how do you consider it better than our method?" I persisted.

"Why, you see, when you have found the girl you want, you have to go
and get her yourself, while we can send a middleman to do it for us."

I still argued that by our method we could become better acquainted
with the young lady.

"Yes," he said, "that is true; but doesn't it make you awfully mad if
you ask a lady to marry you and she refuses?" and it must be confessed
that this was a difficult question to answer without compromising one's
self.

The rigour of the old regime was apparently modified by giving the
young lady a chance to refuse. About ten days before the marriage, two
ladies are selected by the mother of the young man to carry a peculiar
ornament made of ebony and jade, or jade alone, or red lacquer, to the
home of the prospective bride. This ornament is called the ju yi, which
means "According to my wishes." If the lady receives it into her own
hands it signifies her willingness to become his bride; if she rejects
it, the negotiations are at an end, though I h