_, "I don't know what he is talking
about, but he's a bore."

"_Wouldn't tell it to anyone but you_;" _i.e._, "This will ensure its
circulation."

PLATFORMULARS.

"_As the Laureate well puts it, in lines that will live for ever_;"
_i.e._, "I'm perfectly dead certain I've forgotten the third line of
the verse."

"_The clock warns me that I am trespassing too long on your
patience_;" _i.e._, "Haven't said half of what I meant to say. Why the
dickens don't they say, 'Go on!'"

FRIENDLY COMMENTS ON CHARACTER AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS.

"_She is the most domesticated darling imaginable_;" _i.e._, "A dull,
sock-darning dowdy."

"_Quite a beauty-man, and nice--to those who like that sort of
thing_;" _i.e._, "An awfully handsome fellow, who won't worship me."

"_Grim rather at first, but grows upon one wonderfully_;" _i.e._, "He
is softening a little beneath my blandishments."

RAILROAD AMENITIES.

"_Would you like the window up_;" _i.e._, "Hope to goodness she won't,
for her patchouli is simply suffocating."

"_If you feel inclined for a snack, don't mind me_;" "The scent of
sherry and sandwiches in a close carriage is simply sickening."

PREPARING FOR PRIVATE THEATRICALS.

"_I defer to your superior knowledge of stage-effect_;" _i.e._,
"Stuck-up know-all! I could play his head off!"

"_Well, I fear it's a little out of my line; still if I can do
anything to help you, I shall be delighted_;" _i.e._, "What I've
longed for for years. Now I shall have a chance of showing what's in
me!"

"_Bravo, Buffins, dear boy! That little bit of business was really
first-rate_;" _i.e._, "If he plays like _that_ I shall shine, if only
by contrast."

* * * * *

QUITE A LITTLE BANC(ROFT) HOLIDAY!

MRS. BANCROFT'S "Little Play" is very good work. It is called _The
Riverside_; it drew a big _Matinee_ house at the Haymarket last
Thursday, and drew big tears. The ladies did enjoy themselves! They
were in full cry all the time. Capitally acted. It is rumoured that
the gifted authoress, manageress, and actress (all in one), is going
to take a company up the river in a House-boat fitted as a Theatre. It
is to be called _The Thespis_, and will visit all the principal places
on the river during the Season, and ought to do uncommonly well. The
idea is novel. The Company will be called "The Bancroft Water-Babies."
_A propos_ of the Busy B.'s, we are authorised to contradict the
report that, in consequence