ed enjoyment!

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE ARGUMENT BY ANALOGY.

_Mariar Ann._ "WHAT A BEAUTIFUL 'OUSE, MISS! WHAT A LOT O' RENT YOU
MUST 'AVE TO PAY! I SUPPOSE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN _DO_ PAY RENT?"

_Daughter of the House._ "OF COURSE THEY DO."

_Mariar Ann._ "WHAT A DEAL O' TROUBLE YOUR FATHER MUST 'AVE, TO GET IT
TOGETHER EVERY WEEK!"]

* * * * *

"COUNTRY AND DUTY."

OLD MORALITY (_in flannels_) _sings_;--

Ouf! Free from their "howlings and whinings" awhile,
(Which, as the _Times_ tells us, are frightful--are frightful.)
But here Nature smiles, a true Smithian smile,
And the change from the House is delightful--delightful!
A smile which, as GOSCHEN would say, one can _hear_;
A _susurrus_ sweeps over the river--the river.
Oh, Henley in May to my heart is as dear
As to Spaniards the gay Guadalquivir--dalquivir!

No doubt they are yelping and yapping like mad;
In such hobbles cantankerous spleen lands--rous spleen lands.
I peacefully sprawl on the turf, and am glad;
The Blue Devils never reach Greenlands--reach Greenlands.
By Jove, they have led me a doose of a life!
Their conduct is sheer criminality--nality.
Here, though, thank Heaven, I'm far from the strife,
Here the wicked won't vex OLD MORALITY--RALITY!

True, 'tisn't for long, a clear week at the most.
They would worry us out of our Whitsuntide--Whitsuntide.
But still we all feel, though I don't want to boast,
Like Park-hacks in paddock, or "tits" untied--"tits" untied.
They mock my wide smile, and my scantness of thatch;
I think, though, in managing skill I am--skill I am,
All things considered, much more than a match
For swaggering, swashing Sir WILLIAM--WILL-I-AM!

Lawks! this _is_ lovely! But, SMITHY my lad,
In the midst of Arcadian beauty--an beauty,
You mustn't forget (the reflection is sad)
What is due to your Country and Duty--and Duty.
That's why I have brought down this Holiday Task.
Though slumber-inviting the weather--the weather,
I'll turn my true hands, whilst in sunshine I bask,
To the use of the brush and wash-leather--wash-leather!

It's got a bit rusty from sheer want of use;
Though they tell me I'm promptish at pouncing--at pouncing.
Ah me! E'en an angel comes in for abuse,
Or _me_ they would not be denouncing--denouncing.
A crocodile's sure to be do