ts, and for others to wear black?
Finally, if a man standing six foot two in his stocking-feet is to a
bank holiday as a six-inch collar is to a pork-pie, how comes it
that a tartan waistcoat and a pair of green plush trousers cost five
shillings and sixpence per square inch?" We confess that we are unable
to find answers to these questions.

* * * * *

Two Policemen were yesterday observed in earnest conversation with
a well-known member of the Bermondsey Bull-pup Club. Eventually
the three Gentlemen departed for an adjacent police-station, their
proceedings forming a subject for animated comment amongst the
juvenile population of the neighbourhood.

* * * * *

Four receptions, six public dinners, five evening parties, and eight
dances were given in different parts of London yesterday, "to meet Mr.
H. M. STANLEY." We are glad to know that the great explorer maintains
his imperturbable good humour.

* * * * *

IT is computed that the number of pretty women in London this Season
is just double of what it was last year.

* * * * *

SHORT MATHEMATICAL PAPER.

1. Solve the short equation ([Greek: a + s + s + a + u + l + t]) x 2
= 14 days.

2. Given log. .321 and density [Greek: glue], how much Port would you
deduce from this?

3. Show under what circumstances P'liceman x^2 = Two-and-sixpence.

4. What is the probability of two blue eyes becoming black if A, a
stranger, wins half-a-crown three times running at a baccarat-table in
Tottenham Court Road? Calculate to five places of decimals the chances
of A's appearance as prosecutor at Bow Street next morning.

5. Construct a set of Tables showing how the interest increases in a
geometrical progression as the principal is paid off. A., a flat, goes
to B., a money-lender, to raise L100. A. receives L7 10_s._ 6_d._ in
gold; what balance will he receive in grand old sherry and real Havana
Bremerhaven cigars?

6. Show how to re-construct a series of Companies (on the square),
with a million capital, within two months of formation, in such a way
that the Shareholders get nothing, and still remain liable for future
calls. Is the root of the above operation to be found in defective
legislation?

* * * * *

THE ART OF BLACKING BOOTS.

DEAR MR. PUNCH,

[Illustration]

YOU'LL be glad most likely to hear wh