wn on the Gag,
And HARCOURT'S a fair alligator--ligator;
He's awfully wide in the jaw, for a wag,
But _I_'ll tie up the would-be dictator--dictator!

They're out without muzzles, the whole noisy pack,
(I wish some sharp Bobby would run 'em in--run 'em in,)
But _I'll_ be prepared for them when they come back.
The fight for free jaw I have done 'em in--done 'em in.
Good gracious! One's duty to Country and Queen
Cannot be well done, as all know, by a--know, by a
Man amidst yelpings of furious spleen,
Suggestive of sheer hydrophobia--phobia!

And so, whilst _sub tegmine fagi_ I sit,
And pass in May sunshine a jolly day--jolly day,
I think I'll just brush up this weapon a bit,
And so make a good use of my holiday--holiday.
They're bound to come back, and if barking they come,
I'll be ready--and willing--to muzzle 'em--muzzle 'em.
Dumb dogs may bite, but when _this_ makes 'em dumb,
To bite us, I fancy, will puzzle 'em--puzzle 'em!

[_Left smiling and scrubbing._

* * * * *

MR. DUNTHORNE of Vigo Street is exhibiting a collection of
"Atmospheric Notes," which are not, as Esoteric Buddhists might
conclude, missives forwarded by astral current from a Mahatma, but
a series of very charming pastels, by Mr. GEORGE HITCHCOCK. They are
records of land, sea, and sky effects in Holland, characterised by a
poetry and feeling, and a subtlety of colour that give equal pleasure
to mind and eye. _Mr. Punch_ predicts, that the fortunate possessor of
any one of these Notes, will be in no hurry to change it.

[Illustration: "COUNTRY AND DUTY."

MR. W. H. S. "IT'S GOT A LITTLE RUSTY,--BUT I'LL HAVE IT READY IN
TIME!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: AN UNKIND SUGGESTION.

_Cabby (who has been paid his legal fare in threepenny bits and
coppers)._ "WHERE DID YER GET THIS LOT FROM, EH? BEEN A ROBBIN' THE
CHILD'S MONEY-BOX?"]

* * * * *

ROBERT AT GUILDHALL.

WELL, if we aint bin and had a fine time of it at Gildhall this
last week or two, it's a pitty! What the pore harf-starved County
Counsellors must have thort of it all, it isn't for me to say, and
how they all felt when the ginerous old Copperashun tossed 'em a few
dozzen tickets to skrambel for, when the great Mr. STANLEY came to
supper, of course I carnt tell, but them few as I knowed seem