again a singular coincidence saved me, and I
once more came back to life. After this I purposely went abroad
to obtain death and sought it in every possible way. Quite in
vain, as you see. One thing I have never had a fear of, but have
always longed for--Death. I am sure that if we only knew what
joys lay on the other side of death, the whole world would rush
madly to suicide. I have, apart from any perversion of taste, an
honest and genuine passion for children and animals, and I am
never happier than when in their society. Both adore me.

"My life has not dimmed nor deadened my faculties, for I am
occupied at the present time with very important work and I write
steadily. But my real life is passed in my visions, which take me
into another world quite as real as this sensuous one, and where
I always retreat on all occasions possible. And yet, a strange
paradox--I am a convinced Stoic and almost confine my reading to
Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, and the 'Imitation.' I am extremely
emotional, fond of the society of women, though I loathe the
sexual side of them, and when I love, though passion is certainly
inextricably mixed, the prevailing sentiment is spiritual. I
shall probably end by being a Carthusian or a fakir."

HISTORY XXIII.--Englishman, aged 70, of German descent on
father's side. Was first child of his mother, who was 36 at his
birth; a younger brother normal; has no other relatives.

He was brought up in England, and went to school at the age of
13. At a very early age, between 6 and 8, was deeply impressed by
the handsome face of a young man, a royal trumpeter on horseback,
seen in a procession. This, and the sight of the naked body of
young men in a rowing-match on the river, caused great commotion,
but not of a definitely sexual character. This was increased by
the sight of a beautiful male model of a young Turk smoking, with
his dress open in front, showing much of the breast and below the
waist. He became familiar with pictures, admired the male figures
of Italian martyrs, and the full, rich forms of the Antinous, and
he read with avidity the _Arabian Nights_ and other Oriental
tales, translations from the classics, Suetonius, Petronius, etc.
He drew naked models in life schools, and delighted in male
ballet-dancers. As a child, he used to perform in private