way
I felt that one day I should like to be a schoolmaster, but I
dared not say so. A shy, retiring creature was obviously unfitted
for such occupations. Well, the teaching came about, and the
strange part was that the boys were somehow or other attracted
by me, and the 'worst' customers were attracted most. And there
came a chance of acting too. Owing to some difficulties about the
cast in a play at school, I took a part. After that I _knew_ that
(within a certain range) I could act. I spent two holidays with a
dramatic company. I should undoubtedly have remained on the
stage, but for one thing. I don't wish to be sanctimonious, but
dirty and ugly jokes are odious to me. It was this sort of thing
that drove me away. I threw myself into the school work instead.

"It was partly the dramatic interest, partly a quite genuine
interest in human nature, that led me to do some preaching too.
When I had been badly hurt by one or two youngsters whom I loved,
I thought of going in for pastoral work, but this too was given
up--and very wisely. I should never be able to work comfortably
with any organization. For one thing I have a way of taking on
new ideas, and organizations do not like that. For another, all
social functions are anathema to me.

"Interest in 'art' as usually understood began to be marked only
after I was 30. It started with architecture and passed on to
painting and sculpture. The tendency to do rather a variety (too
great a variety) of things characterizes many uranians. We are
rather like the labile chemical compounds: our molecules readily
rearrange themselves.

"As a boy of 10 I had the ordinary sweethearting with a girl of
the same age. The incident is worth perhaps a little further
comment for the following reason: When I was 16 years old the
girl lived with us for a year. She was a nice, pleasant, bright
girl, and she thought a great deal of me. I was strongly
attracted by her. I remember especially one little incident. I
had been showing her how to do some algebra and she was kneeling
at the table by the side of my chair. Her hair was flowing over
her shoulders and she looked rather charming. She expressed warm
admiration of the way I had worked the problem out. I remember
that I deliberately squashed out the feeling of attraction that
came over me.