their's back got out their little
hammers and for a while I had no one to talk to but myself or
Wilbur, and he was trying to dope out a scheme whereby he could
paste threesheets on the ocean and catch the incoming tourists.
I left him trying to compose a one-word wireless that would
explain the whole proposition to Fred Thompson.

"We came in sight of England or Ireland, or some of those
foolish islands, early in the morning, and they didn't look so
much. Barren Island has got 'em faded for smell. There were
nothing but long white chalk cliffs that a good man with a
bucket of whitewash could paint in a week.

"We got into Liverpool and loafed around town for a couple of
hours and saw nothing that would cause any excitement. The
natives look just the same and dress just the same as they do in
America but you have to go some to understand what they say.

"Gee, you should pipe the herdics they use for railroad cars in
this man England's country. Instead of making the grand entrance
from the end you sneak in at the side and sit in a kind of a pew
thing, making faces at some one across the aisle. Wilbur got
sore 'cause he blew himself for a couple of tickets and the
conductor, I mean, the guard, didn't come around to collect them
until we go nearly into London. He wanted to bet an Englishman,
on the other side of the hall, $5--Bly me, I mean a pound, that
he could make the same trip for nothing and hand the guard a
group of chatter that would get him all the way into town.

"When we crawled out of the caboose in London we thought it was
midnight, but on asking a cop--my word, I mean Bobby--he said it
was nothing but a fog. Wilbur told him that if he wanted him to
see much of his blooming city he would have to bring around a
dark lantern.

"We called a cab and started for the Savoy. All true Americans
when they go to London stop at the Savoy. We drove for about an
hour, the horse gumshoeing his way through the dark until we
came to the hotel. Wilbur asked the cab driver how much it was
and he named the sum that if you even suggested it to a New York
cabby he would have you pinched.

"After registering Wilbur called Marcus Mayer up on the
telephone. He grabbed down the receiver and after waiting for
about half an hour some dame said, 'Are you there?' Wilbur's
Nanny