h covers two acres in St.
John's Wood, reading, annotating and correcting; he will be seen at lunch
at his club with other intellectual kings, his intimate friends; shaking
hands with Mr. HARDY; entering a taxi; leaving a taxi and paying the fare;
dining with Sir W. ROBERTSON NICOLL; attending a first night and applauding
only when applause is merited; and finally returning home to read more
books. In all, about fourteen miles.

* * * * *

It will be regretfully learned by the great public, always ready for new
thrillers, that all efforts to induce Mr. BALFOUR to part with the cinema
rights of his Gifford lectures have failed.

* * * * *

"In consequence of the farm labourers and carters employed on various
farms in the parish and village of Chitterne having come out on
strike, work of all kinds, with the exception of lambing, is at a
complete standstill."--_Bath and Wilts Chronicle._

These black-leg ewes!

* * * * *

"Mr. Kipling, who met with a warm deception."--_Daily Graphic._

Not a bit of it. Everyone was frankly delighted to see and hear him.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE THRONE PERILOUS.

AUSTRIA AND ITALY (_to the new Ruler of Albania_). "BE SEATED, SIR."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Mother_ (_to her boy, who has just struck his little sister
with his Teddy bear_). "WHY DID YOU HIT YOUR SISTER IN THE FACE, JOHN?"

_John._ "'COS IT WAS THE ONLY PART OF HER I COULD SEE."]

* * * * *

MUSICAL DIAGNOSIS.

DR. JAMES CANTLIE has reported that "the placing of a tuning-fork; against
the body of a patient enables him to gauge the limits of the liver with
almost hair-breadth precision." He believes that musical diagnosis will
prove reliable in the case of broken bones, and asserts that already it has
been proved that a fatty liver gives out tones distinct from a cirrhosed
liver.

A superb performance of Herr RICHARD STRAUSS'S "German Measles Concerto"
was given last night by the Queen's Hall orchestra. The tempo was
throughout wonderfully high. The three fine solo passages for the left
kidney were finely rendered; while the exquisite _diminuendo_ to
convalescence with which the work concludes greatly impressed a neurotic
audience.

The tuning-fork test has proved that several of the most p