This is Rugby's affair, not ours.

* * * * *

[Illustration: DESPERATE REMEDIES.

COLONEL HERBERT H. ASQUITH (_to Colonel ANDREW B. LAW, on observing that he
also has taken a leaf out of Lord CLAUD HAMILTON'S book_). "GUESS YOU WON'T
CUT ANY ICE, BONAR, UNLESS YOU SHAVE THAT MOUSTACHE OFF."]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

(EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.)

_House of Commons, Monday, February 16._--WORTHINGTON EVANS charmed House
to-day by one of those little delicacies of feeling and taste favoured in
the assembly. MASTERMAN has met the reward of conspicuous success at the
Treasury by promotion to Cabinet rank. In his absence his place temporarily
taken at Question Time by WEDGWOOD BENN, who, while careful to deprecate
personal responsibility for promise to give 9_d._ for 4_d._, displayed
remarkable intimacy with intricacies of the Insurance Act. WORTHINGTON
EVANS, having as usual, after the leisure of a week-end, provided himself
with collection of conundrums based on its working, knew that when he came
down to-day he would find MASTERMAN'S seat empty.

Marked the occasion by presenting himself in mourning array--not the
profoundest black such as _Hamlet_ upon occasion affected, but a prevalence
of decorous colour provided in what is known in drapers' shops as "The
Mitigated Affliction Department." An uncompromising black tie was a
determining note in his attire, testifying to sincere regret at parting
from a Minister whom for three Sessions he has, so to speak, riddled with
conundrums.

Insurance Act has suddenly again sprung into prominence. By odd accident
revival is coincident with couple of by-elections going forward in
Metropolis. JOYNSON-HICKS much struck by circumstance that announcement of
scheme under the Act dealing with casual labour at the docks is promulgated
just now, when election is proceeding in a constituency where there happen
to be many docks and a multitude of casual labourers who have votes.

BONNER LAW, when he comes to think of it, equally surprised. Would the
CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER oblige by explaining? As for LORD BOB CECIL, he
is so perturbed that he momentarily forgets he has leading question to
address to PREMIER designed to extract secret intention with respect to
amending Home Rule Bill.

LLOYD GEORGE, always ready to oblige, explains that scheme in question was
prepared last Autumn, had frequently