r they had no belles in theyr steple: he
answered: no! Than, sayde the bysshop, ye may sylle aweye[159] your
steple. Why so, and please your lordship, sayd the man? Bycause hit
stondeth vacant, said the bysshop. Than sayde the man, we may well sylle
away an other thinge, that we haue in our churche. What is that, sayd
the bysshop? That is a pulpit, quod he. For this vii yere ther was no
sermon made therin.

+ _Of the beggers answere to M. Skelton the poete._ xiii.

+ A poure begger, that was foule, blacke and lothlye to beholde, cam
vpon a tyme vnto mayster Skelton the poete, and asked him his almes. To
whom mayster Skelton sayde: I praye the, gette the awaye fro me: for
thou lokeste as though thou camest out of helle. The poure man,
perceyuing he wolde gyue him no thynge, answerd: For soth, syr, ye say
trouth, I came oute of helle. Why dyddest thou nat tary styl there, quod
mayster Skelton? Mary, syr, quod the begger, there is no roume for suche
poure beggers as I am: all is kepte for suche gentyl men as ye be.

FOOTNOTES:

[158] Parishioners. This jest is included by Johnson in his _Pleasant
Conceits of Old Hobson, the Merry Londoner_, 1607 (reprinted 1843. p.
17).

[159] Sell away.

+ _Of the chaplen, that sayde our lady matens a bed._ xiiii.

+ A certayne lorde's chaplen bosted on a tyme, syttynge at his lorde's
table, that he sayde our lady matyns euery morninge besyde all his other
seruice and orisons. The lorde, to proue whether his chaplen did as he
sayde, arose yerly on a morninge, and went to his chaplen's chamber, and
called hym, saying: where be ye, syr wylliam? Here, and please your
lordshyp (quod he), in my bedde. Why, sayd the lorde, I thought ye had
ben vp and sayenge of our lady matyns. I am nowe sayinge it, quod the
chappleyn. What! lienge in your bedde, quod the lord? why, syr, sayd the
chapplain, where shudde women be serued but a bedde?

+ _Of him that lost his purse in London._ xv.

+ A certayn man of the countre, the whiche for busines came vp to
London, lost his purse as he wente late in the euenynge; and by cause
the somme therin was great, he sette vp bylles in dyuers places that, if
any man of the cyte had founde the purse, and wolde brynge it agayne to
him, he shulde haue welle for his laboure. A gentyll man of the Temple
wrote vnder one of the byls, howe the man shulde come to his chamber,
and tolde [him] where. So, whan he was come, the gentyll man asked hi