last Sundah. He
said it was a disgraceful an' corruptin' affair, an' he was ashamed to
see th' young men iv th' parish takin' such an inthrest in it in Lent.
But late Winsdah afthernoon he came bust-lin' down th' sthreet. 'Nice
day,' he says. It was poorin' rain. 'Fine,' says I. 'They was no parade
to-day,' he says. 'No,' says I. 'Too bad,' says he; an' he started to
go. Thin he turned, an' says he: 'Be th' way, how did that there foul
an' outhrajous affray in Carson City come out?' 'Fitz,' says I, 'in th'
fourteenth.' 'Ye don't say,' he says, dancin' around. 'Good,' he says.
'I told Father Doyle this mornin' at breakfuss that if that red-headed
man iver got wan punch at th' other lad, I'd bet a new cassock--Oh,
dear!' he says, 'what am I sayin'?' 'Ye're sayin',' says I, 'what
nine-tenths iv th' people, laymen an' clargy, are sayin',' I says.
'Well,' he says, 'I guess ye're right.' he says. 'Afther all,' he says,
'an' undher all, we're mere brutes; an' it on'y takes two lads more
brutal than th' rest f'r to expose th' sthreak in th' best iv us. Foorce
rules th' wurruld, an' th' churches is empty whin th' blood begins to
flow.' he says. 'It's too bad, too bad.' he says. 'Tell me, was Corbett
much hurted?' he says."

ON THE VICTORIAN ERA.

"Ar-re ye goin' to cillybrate th' queen's jubilee?" asked Mr. Dooley.

"What's that?" demanded Mr. Hennessy, with a violent start.

"To-day," said Mr. Dooley, "her gracious Majesty Victorya, Queen iv
Great Britain an' that part iv Ireland north iv Sligo, has reigned f'r
sixty long and tiresome years."

"I don't care if she has snowed f'r sixty years," said Mr. Hennessy.
"I'll not cillybrate it. She may be a good woman f'r all I know, but dam
her pollytics."

"Ye needn't be pro-fane about it," said Mr. Dooley. "I on'y ast ye a
civil question. F'r mesilf, I have no feelin' on th' subject. I am not
with th' queen an' I'm not again her. At th' same time I corjally agree
with me frind Captain Finerty, who's put his newspaper in mournin' f'r
th' ivint. I won't march in th' parade, an' I won't put anny dinnymite
undher thim that does. I don't say th' marchers an' dinnymiters ar-re
not both r-right. 'Tis purely a question iv taste, an', as the ixicutive
says whin both candydates are mimbers iv th' camp, 'Pathrites will use
their own discreetion.'

"Th' good woman niver done me no har-rm; an', beyond throwin' a rock or
two into an orangey's procission an' subscribin' to tin dolla