rs' worth
iv Fenian bonds, I've threated her like a lady. Anny gredge I iver had
again her I burrid long ago. We're both well on in years, an' 'tis no
use carrying har-rd feelin's to th' grave. About th' time th' lord
chamberlain wint over to tell her she was queen, an' she came out in her
nitey to hear th' good news, I was announced into this wurruld iv sin
an' sorrow. So ye see we've reigned about th' same lenth iv time, an' I
ought to be cillybratin' me di'mon' jubilee. I wud, too, if I had anny
di'mon's. Do ye r-run down to Aldherman O'Brien's an' borrow twinty or
thirty f'r me.

"Great happenin's have me an' Queen Victorya seen in these sixty years.
Durin' our binificent prisince on earth th' nations have grown r-rich
an' prosperous. Great Britain has ixtinded her domain until th' sun
niver sets on it. No more do th' original owners iv th' sile, they bein'
kept movin' be th' polis. While she was lookin' on in England, I was
lookin' on in this counthry. I have seen America spread out fr'm th'
Atlantic to th' Pacific, with a branch office iv the Standard Ile
Comp'ny in ivry hamlet. I've seen th' shackles dropped fr'm th' slave,
so's he cud be lynched in Ohio. I've seen this gr-reat city desthroyed
be fire fr'm De Koven Sthreet to th' Lake View pumpin' station, and thin
rise felix-like fr'm its ashes, all but th' West Side, which was not
burned. I've seen Jim Mace beat Mike McCool, an' Tom Allen beat Jim
Mace, an' somebody beat Tom Allen, an' Jawn Sullivan beat him, an'
Corbett beat Sullivan, an' Fitz beat Corbett; an', if I live to
cillybrate me goold-watch-an'-chain jubilee, I may see some wan put it
all over Fitz.

"Oh, what things I've seen in me day an' Victorya's! Think iv that
gran' procission iv lithry men,--Tinnyson an' Longfellow an' Bill Nye
an' Ella Wheeler Wilcox an' Tim Scanlan an'--an' I can't name thim all:
they're too manny. An' th' brave gin'rals,--Von Molkey an' Bismarck an'
U.S. Grant an' gallant Phil Shurdan an' Coxey. Think iv thim durin' me
reign. An' th' invintions,--th' steam-injine an' th' printin'-press an'
th' cotton-gin an' the gin sour an' th' bicycle an' th' flyin'-machine
an' th' nickel-in-th'-slot machine an' th' Croker machine an' th' sody
fountain an'--crownin' wurruk iv our civilization--th' cash raygisther.
What gr-reat advances has science made in my time an' Victorya's! f'r,
whin we entered public life, it took three men to watch th' bar-keep,
while to-day ye can tell within ei