orce on each side. So they imported
him over, what they call assisted immygration. He didn't come undher
th' head iv skilled workman. They must've classed him as a domestic
servant. Th' first thing he done was to get himsilf arristed. A man be
th' name iv Sweeney,--there are some good Sweeneys, though it's a name I
don't like on account iv wan iv thim stealin' me fa-ather's
grin'stone,--a man be th' name iv Sweeney, a polisman, r-run him in f'r
disordherly conduct. They got him out with a pull. Thin he sint f'r
lawyers an' f'r his financee's father, an' they settled down to talk
business. 'Well,' says Ganderbilk, 'how much d'ye want?' he says. 'I'll
give ye a millyon.' 'Goowan,' says th' jook, 'I cud get that much
marryin' somewan I knew.' 'Thin how much d'ye want?' says Ganderbilk.
'Well,' says th' jook, th' castle has to be put in repair. Th' plumbin'
is all gone to th' divvle, an' they'll have to be a new catch-basin put
in,' he says. 'Thin they'se calciminin' an' paper-hangin',--well, call
it tin millyons.' 'But what do I get out iv it?' says Ganderbilk. 'Have
ye a ticket to th' church to see me marrid?' says th' jook. 'No,' says
his pappa-in-law. 'Well, here's a couple,' says th' jook. 'Bring wan iv
ye'er frinds with ye.' So Ganderbilk he coughed.

"They say th' jook was that poor he had to have his coat made out iv what
was left over fr'm his pants, they do so. But he was at th' church
bright an' early; an' Ganderbilk he was there, too, standin' out on th'
steps in th' cold, combin' his whiskers--he wears a pair iv
sluggers--with his fingers. Afther awhile his daughter, the jook's
financee, come along; an', seein' the jook, says she, 'Pappa,' she says,
'inthrojooce me to ye'er frind.' 'Jook,' says Ganderbilk, 'shake hands
with me daughther. She's your's,' he says. An' so they were marrid.

"Well, Jawn," said Mr. Dooley, becoming serious, "'tis a dhroll wurruld,
an' I suppose we've got to take th' jooks an' th' Ganderbilks with the
r-rest. I'm goin' to a weddin' mesilf nex' week. Th' banns has been
called between little Dalia Hogan an' big Tom Moran. They've been
engaged f'r three year, her wurrkin' in a box facthry an' him doin'
overtime at th' blast. They've money enough to start, an' it'll not cost
ol' ma-an Hogan a cint. But, whin he spoke about it las' night, he cried
as if his heart'd break."

ON A QUARREL BETWEEN ENGLAND AND GERMANY.

Mr. McKenna was aware that a gentle feud had existed between Mr