han wanst in
twinty years that th' walrus gets a square meal. Thin he devours his
victim, clothes, collar-buttons, an' all."

"Well, well," said Mr. Hennessy. "I had no idee they was that ferocious.
I thought they were like bur-rds. Don't they lay eggs?"

"Don't they lay eggs?" Mr. Dooley replied. "Don't they lay eggs? Did ye
iver hear th' like iv that, Jawn? Why, ye gaby, ye might as well ask me
does a pianny lay eggs. Iv coorse not."

"I'd like to know what the objict of these here arctic explorations is,"
interposed Mr. McKenna, in the interests of peace.

"Th' principal objict is to get rid iv an over-supply iv foolish
people," said Mr. Dooley. "In this counthry, whin a man begins f'r to
see sthrange things, an' hitch up cockroaches, an' think he's Vanderbilt
dhrivin' a four-in-hand, we sind him to what me ol' frind Sleepy Burk
calls th' brain college. But in Norway an' Sweden they sind him to th'
North Pole, an' feed him to th' polar bears an' th' walruses. A man that
scorches on a bicycle or wears a pink shirt or is caught thryin' to fry
out a stick iv dinnymite in a kitchen stove is given a boat an' sint off
to play with Flora an' Fauna in th' frozen North."

"That's what I'd like to know," said Mr. Hennessy. "Who ar-re these
Flora an' Fauna? I see be th' pa-aper that Doc Nansen stopped at
Nootchinchoot Islands, an' saw Flora an' Fauna; an' thin, comin' back on
th' ice, he encountherd thim again."

"I suppose," said Mr. Dooley, "ye think Flora an' Fauna is two little
Eskeemy girls at skip-rope an' 'London bridge is fallin' down' on th'
icebergs an' glaziers. It's a pretty idee ye have iv th' life in thim
parts. Little Flora an' little Fauna playin' stoop-tag aroun' a whale or
rushin' th' can f'r their poor tired father just home fr'm th'
rollin'-mills, where he's been makin' snowballs f'r th' export thrade,
or engagin' in some other spoort iv childhood! Go wan with ye!"

"But who are they, annyhow?"

"I make it a rule in me life not to discuss anny woman's charac-ter,"
replied Mr. Dooley, sternly. "If Doc Nansen was off there skylarkin'
with Flora an' Fauna, it's his own business, an' I make no inquiries. A
lady's a lady, be she iver so humble; an', as Shakespeare says, cursed
be th' man that'd raise an ax to her, save in th' way iv a joke. We'll
talk no scandal in this house, Hinnissy."

But, after his friend had gone, Mr. Dooley leaned over confidentially,
and whispered to Mr. McKenna, "But who are Fl