that great brazen helmet of ten points? why did
Achilles and Hector hew each other up with vast blows of their lances?
Because Helen allowed Paris to take her garter. With Cosette's garter,
Homer would construct the Iliad. He would put in his poem, a loquacious
old fellow, like me, and he would call him Nestor. My friends, in bygone
days, in those amiable days of yore, people married wisely; they had a
good contract, and then they had a good carouse. As soon as Cujas had
taken his departure, Gamacho entered. But, in sooth! the stomach is
an agreeable beast which demands its due, and which wants to have its
wedding also. People supped well, and had at table a beautiful neighbor
without a guimpe so that her throat was only moderately concealed. Oh!
the large laughing mouths, and how gay we were in those days! youth was
a bouquet; every young man terminated in a branch of lilacs or a tuft
of roses; whether he was a shepherd or a warrior; and if, by chance,
one was a captain of dragoons, one found means to call oneself Florian.
People thought much of looking well. They embroidered and tinted
themselves. A bourgeois had the air of a flower, a Marquis had the air
of a precious stone. People had no straps to their boots, they had no
boots. They were spruce, shining, waved, lustrous, fluttering, dainty,
coquettish, which did not at all prevent their wearing swords by their
sides. The humming-bird has beak and claws. That was the day of the
Galland Indies. One of the sides of that century was delicate, the other
was magnificent; and by the green cabbages! people amused themselves.
To-day, people are serious. The bourgeois is avaricious, the bourgeoise
is a prude; your century is unfortunate. People would drive away the
Graces as being too low in the neck. Alas! beauty is concealed as
though it were ugliness. Since the revolution, everything, including the
ballet-dancers, has had its trousers; a mountebank dancer must be grave;
your rigadoons are doctrinarian. It is necessary to be majestic. People
would be greatly annoyed if they did not carry their chins in their
cravats. The ideal of an urchin of twenty when he marries, is to
resemble M. Royer-Collard. And do you know what one arrives at with
that majesty? at being petty. Learn this: joy is not only joyous; it is
great. But be in love gayly then, what the deuce! marry, when you marry,
with fever and giddiness, and tumult, and the uproar of happiness! Be
grave in church, well an