I am for that lamb chop thing, first, last and always.

But let's get back to that Thanksgiving dinner.

My wife invited Mr. and Mrs. William T. Hodge, Joe Coyne and his wife,
and their daughter, Cuticura; Mr. and Mrs. Frank Doane, and their son,
Communipaw; Mr. and Mrs. Jack Golden, and their niece, Casanova; and
Mr. and Mrs. Riley Hatch.

Charlie Swayne was the referee.

My wife was so worried about the cook that before dinner time arrived
she had an attack of nervous postponement.

As a matter of fact, we were both in fear and trembling that Ollie
would send a tomato salad from the kitchen and before it reached the
table it would become a chop suey.

Anyway, the guests arrived promptly, and I could see from their faces
that they would fight that dinner to a finish.

The ladies began to chat pleasantly while they sized up our furniture
out of the corners of their eyes, and the men glanced carelessly around
to see if I had a box of cigars which would require their attention
after dinner.

Pretty soon dinner was announced and they all jumped to their feet as
though they had stepped on a third rail.

I believe in being thrifty, but the way some of those people saved up
their hunger for our dinner was too penurious for mine.

I took Mrs. Hodge in and she took in my wife's dress to see if it was
made over from last year's.

Young Communipaw Doane tried hard not to reach the table first, but a
plate of Dill-pickles caught his eye and he won from old man Hodge by
an arm.

The first round was oyster cocktails and everybody drew cards.

This was Ollie's maiden attempt at making oyster cocktails and she had
original ideas about them, which consisted of salad oil instead of
tomato ketchup.

The salad oil came from Italy, so the oysters were extremely foreign to
the taste.

After eating his cocktail Riley Hatch began to turn pale and inquired
politely if we raised our own oysters.

But just then little Cutey Coyne upset a glass of water and changed the
subject, and the complexion of the tablecloth.

The next round was mock turtle soup, and it made a deep impression,
especially on Charlie Swayne, because little Casanova Golden upset her
share in his lap when he least expected it.

Charlie was very nice about it, however.

He only swore twice, then he remembered once a gentleman always a
gentleman and he did not strike the girl.

After a while we all convinced Charlie that the laugh was on the soup
and n