Pifflemind, Cecil Vanwigglevandoozen, Mrs. George Plentycash and
Miss Clorinda Fritters.

Mrs. Plentycash is accompanied by a friend of her husband's by the name
of Murgatroyd Mutt; and Mr. Harry Pifflemind has his own private
bartender, so there is nothing to mar the beauty of the visit.

During our first day at Newport we played bridge until two o'clock,
then we jumped in our automobiles to see if we could run across a few
friends.

Llewellyn Shortbrow made a mistake with his machine and ran across a
stranger, hitting him just between the wish-bone and the Casino.

The stranger's leg was broken, which put the laugh on Llewellyn.

The next evening Cecil Vanwigglevandoozen gave us one of the most
delightful experiences I have ever known.

It was a monkey dinner.

A monkey dinner consists of a happy mixture of Society and monkey--with
just a trifle more Society than monkey to give it the proper flavor.

The idea of the monkey dinner originated in a fertile spot in the
southeastern part of Vanwigglevandoozen's brain, which up to then was
supposed to be extinct.

The eruption of such a gigantic idea from a brain supposed to be
extinct came as a great but pleasant shock to Society.

Originally it was Vanwigglevandoozen's idea to have Clarence Fussyface
play the monkey, because Clarence's intelligence is built on a plan to
suggest such mimicry, but a hand-organ proprietor by the name of
Guissepi, who is summering at Newport, came to the rescue with a real
monkey by the name of Claude.

Claude has acted for many years as a second-story man for Guissepi, and
is one of the very best ice-cutters in the whole monkey business.

A full dress suit was made for Claude, and when he entered Society you
could tell at once that he was not a waiter.

Claude was placed at the head of the table, and as he sat there smiling
at his friends it made one of the sweetest pictures of family
contentment I have ever witnessed.

There were no set speeches.

Vanwigglevandoozen gave Claude a glass of champagne, which the guest of
honor politely refused by spilling it down the neck of Harry Pifflemind
in such an artless monkey way that the other guests roared with delight.

With monkey signs Claude gave the signal to rush the growler, which was
accompanied with a true spirit of goodfellowship by the butler.

The conversation during the dinner hour was altogether of a zoological
nature.

Claude displayed an acrobatic appetite and we