to the price of my Book, which it is 2_s._
6_d._, so with that and the thrippence for Postage, I didn't git much
out of "S. B.," but I thanks him for his kind intentions.

The Gent who wrote from Tattersall's, and sined hisself "THE RIVER
PLUNGER," and enclosed me two bad harf-crowns, I must leave to his hone
cowardly conshence, and the arrowing reflexun that he werry nearly got
me into trubbel when I tried to pass one on 'em at our nayburing Pub.
Luckily, my rayther frequent wisits to that most useful mannerfactory
has made me werry well known there, so I was aloud to correct my littel
mistake.

The last letter which I has jest receeved is as follers:--

"GOOD OLD BOB! "COLNEY HATCH, _April 1st_.

"I won 2 tenners on the Boat Race, thanks to your straight tip, one
on Cambridge, and one on Oxford, so I enclose you your Commission of
20_s._

Yours truly, UNCLE DICK."

Wood it be beleeved, the check was drawn upon Thames Bank! But there, I
must dress for my purfeshnal dooties. ROBERT.

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES.

AUCTIONEERING.

"_Elegant Queen Anne Cottage_;" _i.e._, Delightful--if you could only
live entirely in the porch.

"_A Bijou Residence_;" _i.e._, Last occupant was a lady, with tastes as
dubious as her character.

"_A First-class Family Mansion_;" _i.e._, Two large reception-rooms, and
the rest kennels.

"_An Eligible Surburban Residence_;" _i.e._, A stucco box, with two
bay-windows, a slate roof, and a romantic or aristocratic
name--"Killiecrankie," "Glaramara," or "Penshurst," for choice.

SOCIAL.

"_Let me congratulate you on that last Article of yours in the 'Flail.'
Awfully smart, and will make some of them 'sit up' a bit!_" _i.e._, Most
malicious thing I ever read, and will make him hosts of enemies.

MUSIC.

"_I can't play without my Notes--if I'd only known_;" _i.e._, She should
have asked me to dinner, not merely to come in in the evening. Bah!

"_Thanks very much; I'll look at my list, and see what night I've got
free_;" _i.e._, Catch me accepting. Awfully slow party.

PLATFORMULARS.

"_I was told that the people of Furseborough were devoted to the good
cause, but I never expected such enthusiasm as they have displayed
to-night_;" _i.e._, Why the deuce don't they cheer all together, instead
of clapping here and clapping there? Must try to stir them up.

"_Now you are an audience of intelligent men_