Rural Dean, two M.P.'s. a Dowager Duchess,
a Major-General in the Army, a celebrated Medical Man, and a popular
Author, and as all are furious at what they call "a gross infringement
of their liberty," I am not likely, I fear, to hear the last of it.
However, let me hope, they'll do, as I have done, and call in the Police
to help them. As for me, my only chance of redress seems to be to write
to the papers. So--here goes!

* * * * *

SIGNS OF THE SEASON.

(_By a West-End Shopkeeper._)

The voice of the horse-dealer's heard in the land,
The Season, it says, will be full, gay, and grand;
He is happy, and gives the most hopeful accounts.
Well, the horse-dealer rises by virtue of "mounts,"
The thing in mid-March to keep hope well alive
Was the prospect, in June, of a jolly full Drive,
The wiseacres Long-Acre stir with delight.
And oh! don't we hope the wiseacres are right!

* * * * *

TWO HEADS NOT BETTER THAN ONE!

There is not the slightest truth in the report that the following short
story, said to have been written by MM. ERCKMANN and CHATRIAN _since_
their quarrel, will be more fully developed before republication.

MOSCOW!

_Note._--This title is believed to have been furnished by M. ERCKMANN,
but will probably be changed to _The Baby's Niece_, by M. CHATRIAN.

CHAPTER I. (_By M. E._)

NAPOLEON regarded the burning town with a feeling of dismay. He had
counted upon the ancient Russian capital as a basis of support when the
time should come to retire. As he looked at the fire, luridly reflected
in the snow, MARIE approached him and fell upon her knees.

"Sire!" she cried, "A boon! I ask you to save KOSMOF! I beg of you my
lover's life!"

The Man of Destiny gazed upon her with a cold smile, full of cruel
meaning, and replied, "Life for life--you know my conditions!" MARIE
gave a piercing shriek and sank into unconsciousness.

CHAPTER II. (_By M. C._)

To wake again and find the sun shining brightly on her own Alsatian
home! Yes, all the nonsense about NAPOLEON and Moscow had been a dream,
more--a nightmare! The good _Cure_ was playing with the niece of her
baby brother. JULES was hard at work cutting down apples in the orchard,
which were soon to become cider in the press of the farmstead.

"My Father," said MARIE, with a coquettish toss of her pretty head, "and
so you think JULES too good for me?"

"Scarcely t