o Scotland Yard. They tell me if I don't shut up they'll soon
finish the matter for me by "running _me_ in" myself. I am about to
point out the disgraceful character of their conduct to them, when,
noticing the Inspector whispering some orders to two of his
subordinates, I think it best to take to my heels, which I do, pursued
by a couple of Constables, whom I manage to escape, and, jumping into a
Hansom, drive to Head Quarters.

[Illustration: "Hullo! what are YOU?"]

8 P.M.--Have stated my case and written it all out, as requested,
"fully," twice on paper. Official says, "that will do." Ask him whether
he won't telegraph to Dover, Folkestone, Newhaven and Portsmouth, to
enable the Police to stop suspicious people leaving by to-night's Mails.
He says, "Certainly not." I ask him "Why?" He asks me what business is
that of mine? I answer that it is "every business of mine." He retorts,
"Oh! is it? Well, you had best be off. You won't get nothing more out of
us." Grow very angry at this, but express myself with moderation; am
about to remonstrate with him, when I notice that he is also whispering
some secret orders to two subordinates, and I think it best once more to
take to my heels, which I do, again hotly pursued by a couple of
Constables. Turning a corner, however, I fortunately manage to escape
them, and finding myself opposite the door of the Detective Department,
step in.

10 P.M.--Have again stated the whole of my case "fully." They think if I
am prepared to pay up pretty freely, they can help me, and recommend, as
a preliminary step, the despatch of ten Detectives, two each
respectively to Clapham Junction, Herne Bay, Margate, Gravesend and
Tooting Common. Pull out my cheque-book and arrange for this at a
handsome figure. Pass the night myself in company with an eleventh
Detective, in going over second-hand furniture establishments in the
Mile End Road, with a search-warrant, in the hopes of coming across my
dining-room sideboard and umbrella-stand, but to no purpose.

10 A.M. (_Next Morning_).--None of my missing property recovered, and
nothing more heard of any of it. The ten Detectives, however, return
from Clapham Junction, Herne Bay, Margate, Gravesend and Tooting Common,
each having arrested respectively, three people, answering vaguely the
description given by me of some of my servants. The whole thirty are
brought to my house at Bayswater, for "identification," but as they
contain among their number a