th us for years."

And then I had an inspiration. I turned down the inside pocket of my
coat; and there, stitched into it, was the label of my tailor with my
name written on it. I had often wondered why tailors did this; obviously
they know how stupid guards can be.

"I suppose that's all right," said the guard reluctantly. Of course, I
might have stolen the coat. I see his point.

"You--you wouldn't like a nice packing-case for yourself?" I said
timidly. "You see, I thought I'd put Chum on the lead. I've got to take
him to Paddington, and he must be tired of his shell by now. It isn't as
if he were _really_ an armadillo."

The guard thought he would like a shilling and a nice packing-case.
Wood, he agreed, was always wood, particularly in winter, but there were
times when you were not ready for it.

"How are you taking him?" he asked, getting to work with a chisel.
"Underground?"

"Underground?" I cried in horror. "Take Chum on the Underground?
Take---- Have you ever taken a large live conger-eel on the end of a
string into a crowded carriage?"

The guard never had.

"Well, don't. Take him in a taxi instead. Don't waste him on other
people."

The crate yawned slowly, and Chum emerged all over straw. We had an
anxious moment, but the two of us got him down and put the lead on him.
Then Chum and I went off for a taxi.

"Hooray," said Chum, wriggling all over, "isn't this splendid? I say,
which way are you going? I'm going this way?... No, I mean the other
way."

Somebody had left some of his milk-cans on the platform. Three times we
went round one in opposite directions and unwound ourselves the wrong
way. Then I hauled him in, took him struggling in my arms and got into a
cab.

The journey to Paddington was full of interest. For a whole minute Chum
stood quietly on the seat, rested his fore-paws on the open window and
drank in London. Then he jumped down and went mad. He tried to hang me
with the lead, and then in remorse tried to hang himself. He made a dash
for the little window at the back; missed it and dived out of the window
at the side; was hauled back and kissed me ecstatically in the eye with
his sharpest tooth.... "And I thought the world was at an end," he said,
"and there were no more people. Oh, I am an ass. I say, did you notice
I'd had my hair cut? How do you like my new trousers? I must show you
them." He jumped on to my lap. "No, I think you'll see them better on
the ground," he said, a