1.30 on the actual day, and the only
cab I could find to take me to a jeweller's was drawn by a camel. Of
course, it may not turn out to be as bad as that, but it will certainly
be an anxious afternoon for both of us. And so we must consider the
entertainment entirely from the point of view of our guests. Whether
their craving is for champagne or bells, it must be satisfied."

"I'm sure they'll be better without bells. Because when the policemen
call out 'Mr. Spifkins' carriage,' Mr. Spifkins mightn't hear if there
were a lot of bells clashing about."

"Very well, no bells. But, mind you," I said sternly, "I shall insist on
a clergyman."

We went through the rest of the _menu_, course by course.

"I know what I shall do," I said at last. "I shall call on my friend the
Clerk again, and I shall speak to him quite frankly. I shall say, 'Here
is a cheque for a thousand pounds. It is all I can afford--and, by the
way, you'd better pay it in quickly or it will be dishonoured. Can you
do us up a nice wedding for a thousand inclusive?'"

"Like the Christmas hampers at the stores."

"Exactly. A dozen boys' voices, a half-dozen of bells, ten yards of
awning, and twenty-four oranges, or vergers, or whatever it is. We ought
to get a nice parcel for a thousand pounds."

"Or," said Celia, "we might send the list round to our friends as
suggestions for wedding presents. I'm sure Jane would love to give us a
couple of policemen."

"We'd much better leave the whole thing to your father. I incline more
and more to the opinion that it is _his_ business to provide the
wedding. I must ask my solicitor about it."

"He's providing the bride."

"Yes, but I think he might go further. I can't help feeling that the
bells would come very well from him. 'Bride's father to bridegroom--A
peal of bells.' People would think it was something in silver for the
hall. It would do him a lot of good in business circles."

"And that reminds me," smiled Celia, "there's been some talk about a
present from Miss Popley."

I have come to the conclusion that it is impossible to get married
decently unless one's life is ordered on some sort of system. Mine never
has been; and the result is that I make terrible mistakes--particularly
in the case of Miss Popley. At the beginning of the business, when the
news got round to Miss Popley, I received from her a sweet letter of
congratulation. Knowing that she was rather particular in these matters
I braced