I
was settin' down by a bit of whin, sorr----"

But it had been borne in on me that this had become a young man's job,
so I succeeded, not without some difficulty, in consigning the gallant
Royal Irishman--still pouring forth priceless intelligence
material--into the hands of a messenger to be taken to the officer on
duty. Manuals of instruction that deal with the subject of eliciting
military information in time of war impress upon you that the Oriental
always wants to tell you what he thinks you want him to tell you. But
the Irishman tells you what he wants to tell you himself, and it isn't
the least use trying to stop him.

The Intelligence Department being--directly at home and indirectly
abroad--under my control, I was much sought after in the early days,
was almost snowed under, indeed, with applications and recommendations
for the post of "Intelligence Officer." Bigwigs within the War Office
itself, when they were bothered on paper about people, simply passed
the note along as it stood with "D.M.O., can you do anything for this
creature?" or something of that sort, scribbled in blue pencil at the
top. One was treated as if one was a sort of unemployment bureau.
Qualifications for this particular class of post turned out to be of
the most varied kind. One young gentleman, who was declared to be a
veritable jewel, was described as a pianist, fitted out with
"technique almost equal to a professional." The leading characteristic
of another candidate appeared to be his liability to fits. Algy, "a
dear boy and _so_ good-looking," had spent a couple of months in Paris
after leaving Eton a year or two back. This sounds terribly like
petticoat influence; but resisting petticoat influence is, I can assure
you, child's play compared to resisting Parliamentary influence. For
good, straightforward, unblushing, shan't-take-no-for-an-answer
jobbery, give me the M.P. They are sublime in their hardihood.

My experience in these Whitehall purlieus during the war perhaps
provides some explanation of the theory, so sedulously hugged by the
community, that interest and influence are all-powerful inside the War
Office portals. To be invited to take a hand in obtaining jobs for
people about whom one knew nothing and cared less, in services with
which one had no connection, was a daily event. The procedure that was
followed in such cases was automatic and appropriate. A reply would be
dictated intimating that one would do what one c