when an accustomed thing is organized into life; and, whatever be the
genesis of friendship, it must become a habit, or it is in danger of
passing away as other impressions have done before.

Friendship needs delicate handling. We can ruin it by stupid
blundering at the very birth, and we can kill it by neglect. It is not
every flower that has vitality enough to grow in stony ground. Lack of
reticence, which is only the outward sign of lack of reverence, is
responsible for the death of many a fair friendship. Worse still, it
is often blighted at the very beginning by the insatiable desire for
piquancy in talk, which can forget the sacredness of confidence. "An
acquaintance grilled, scored, devilled, and served with mustard and
cayenne pepper, excites the appetite; whereas a slice of old friend
with currant jelly is but a sickly, unrelishing meat." [2] Nothing is
given to the man who is not worthy to possess it, and the shallow heart
can never know the joy of a friendship, for the keeping of which he is
not able to fulfil the essential conditions. Here also it is true that
from the man that hath not, is taken away even that which he hath.

The method for the culture of friendship finds its best and briefest
summary in the Golden Rule. To do to, and for, your friend what you
would have him do to, and for, you, is a simple compendium of the whole
duty of friendship. The very first principle of friendship is that it
is a mutual thing, as among spiritual equals, and therefore it claims
reciprocity, mutual confidence and faithfulness. There must be
sympathy to keep in touch with each other, but sympathy needs to be
constantly exercised. It is a channel of communication, which has to
be kept open, or it will soon be clogged and closed.

The practice of sympathy may mean the cultivation of similar tastes,
though that will almost naturally follow from the fellowship. But to
cultivate similar tastes does not imply either absorption of one of the
partners, or the identity of both. Rather, part of the charm of the
intercourse lies in the difference, which exists in the midst of
agreement. What is essential is that there should be a real desire and
a genuine effort to understand each other. It is well worth while
taking pains to preserve a relationship so full of blessing to both.

Here, as in all connections among men, there is also ample scope for
patience. When we think of our own need for the constant exercise