friendly with everybody, and a friend of none. He is Hail fellow well
met! with every passing stranger, a boon companion of every wayfarer.
He takes up with every sort of casual comrade, and seeks to be on good
terms with everybody. He makes what is called, with a little contempt,
good company, and is a favorite on all light occasions. His affections
spread themselves out over a large expanse. He is easily consoled for
a loss, and easily attracted by a new attachment. And as he deals, so
is he dealt with. Many like him; few quite trust him. He makes many
friends, and is not particular about their quality. The law of
spiritual environment plays upon him with its relentless force. He
gives himself away too cheaply, and opens himself to all sorts of
influence. He is constantly laying himself in the way of temptation.
His mind takes on the opinions of his set: his character assimilates
itself to the forces that act on it. The evil example of some of his
intimates gradually breaks down the barriers of past training and
teaching. The desire to please a crowd means that principle is let
slip, and conscience ceases to be the standard of action. His very
friends are not true friends, being mostly of the fair-weather quality.

Though it may seem difficult to avoid either of these two extremes, it
will not do to refuse to choose at all, and leave things to chance. We
drift into many of our connections with men, but the art of seamanship
is tested by sailing not by drifting. The subject of the choice of
friendship is not advanced much by just letting them choose us. That
is to become the victim, not the master of our circumstances. And
while it is true that we are acted on as much as we act, and are chosen
as much as we choose, it is not permitted to any one merely to be
passive, except at great cost.

At the same time in the mystery of friendship we cannot say that we
went about with a touchstone testing all we met, till we found the ore
that would respond to our particular magnet. It is not that we said to
ourselves, Go to, we will choose a friend, and straightway made a
distinct election to the vacant throne of our heart. From one point of
view we were absolutely passive. Things arranged themselves without
effort, and by some subtle affinity we learned that we had gained a
friend. The history of every true friendship is the brief description
of Emerson, "My friends have come to me unsought; the great God gav