error.

* * *

"The Irish will take nothing that we can offer them," says a
Government official. Outside of that they seem to take pretty much
what they want.

* * *

We think that the attention of the N.S.P.C.C. should be drawn to the
fact that several stall-holders on the beach of a popular seaside town
are offering ices at twopence each, or twelve for one-and-six.

* * *

A man was charged at the South Western Police Court with throwing a
sandwich at a waiter. Very thoughtless. He might have broken it.

* * *

A new instrument for measuring whiskey is announced. The last
whiskey we ordered seemed to have been squirted into the glass with a
hypodermic syringe.

* * * * *

The Bull-dog Breed.

"H. Prew, b Staples, c L. Mitchell, c Ryland, b Rajendrasinhji,
17."--_Daily Paper._

The gallant fellow doesn't seem to have known when he was beaten.

* * * * *

"Wanted, thoroughly capable Woman, to take management of
canteen; one with knowledge of ambulance work preferred."

_Provincial Paper._

A "wet" canteen, presumably.

* * * * *

"UNIVERSITY INTELLIGENCE."

["A Skilled Labourer," writing to _The Times_, speaks of "the
extremists" among the working classes as "cherishing a belief
that the intelligence of educated persons is declining."]

Doubtless, my Masters, you are right
As to the lore which they delight
To teach at Cambridge College;
Contented with a classic tone,
Those useful arts we left alone
By which we might have held our own
Against the Newer Knowledge.

Even if I could still retain
The ethics which my early brain
Imbibed from ARISTOTLE,
It would not serve me much to speak
His views on virtue (in the Greek)
When buying table claret (weak)
At ten-and-six the bottle.

Or when my tailor claims his loot
Of twenty guineas for a suit
Of rude continuations,
I must remain his hopeless thrall,
Nor would it move his heart at all
Could I from JUVENAL recall
Some apposite quotations.

If I engaged a working-man
To mend a leaky pot or pan
Or else a pipe that's porous,
He would not modify his fees
For hours and hours of vacant ease
Though out of ARISTOPHANES
I said a funny chorus.

I am a failure, it appears;
I cannot cope with profiteers
Nor with enlightened Labour;
Too late I see