n."

As I explained to William, it is customary to give useful rather than
ornamental gifts nowadays, but I could not refrain from adding a small
sentimental tribute.

EVOE.

* * * * *

THE WESTERN LIGHTHOUSES.

Flashed Lizard to Bishop,
"They're rounding the fish up
Close under my cliffs where the cormorants nest;
The lugger lamps glitter
In hundreds and litter
The sea-floor like spangles. What news from the West?"

Flashed he of the mitre,
"The night's growing brighter,
There's mist over Annet, but all's clear at sea;
Lit up like a city,
Her band playing pretty,
A big liner's passing. Ay, all's well with me."

Flashed Wolf to Round Island,
"Oh, you upon dry land,
With wild rabbits cropping the pinks at your base,
You lubber, you oughter
Stand watch in salt water
With tides tearing at you and spray in your face."

The gun of the Longships
Boomed out like a gong, "Ships
Are bleating around me like sheep gone astray;
There's fog in my channel
As thick as grey flannel--
Boom-rumble!--I'm busy; excuse me, I pray."

They winked at each other
As brother to brother,
Those red lights and white lights, the summer night through,
And steered the stray tramps out
Till dawn snuffed their lamps out
And stained the sea-meadows all purple and blue.

PATLANDER.

* * * * *

"Advertiser has Stole Skin, Russian Sables, for Sale."--_Daily
Paper._

This is what comes of opening up trade relations with the Bolshevists.

* * * * *

A provincial firm announces that it supplies "distinctive clothing for
men." And a very necessary thing, too, in these days of sex equality.

* * * * *

"EX-SOLDIER requires Loan of L100. What interest? No
lenders."--_Daily Paper._

We should have thought "No interest! What lenders?" would have been
more to the point.

* * * * *

[Illustration: SQUIRE.]

[Illustration: ALMSHOUSE INMATE, LATE SQUIRE.]

[Illustration: SECOND UNDER TWEENY AT THE HALL. (_See Squire_).]

[Illustration: PLOUGHMAN HOMEWARD PLODDING HIS WEARY WAY.]

[Illustration: VILLAGE SHOP PROPRIETOR.]

[Illustration: OLDEST INHABITANT.]

[Illustration: PARSON.]

[Illustration: BIRD SCARER (D.S.O.,