your intention of not sending any relief up here or to Berber,
and you refuse me Zebehr. I consider myself free to act according
to circumstances. I shall hold on here as long as I can, and if I
can suppress the rebellion I shall do so. If I cannot, I shall
retire to the Equator and leave you the indelible disgrace of
abandoning the garrisons of Senaar, Kassala, Berber, and Dongola,
with the _certainty_ that you will eventually be forced to smash
up the Mahdi under greater difficulties if you wish to maintain
peace in, and, indeed, to retain Egypt."

Before a silence of five and a half months fell over Khartoum, Gordon
had been able to make three things clear, and of these only one could
be described as having a personal signification, and that was that the
Government, by rejecting all his propositions, had practically
abandoned him to his fate. The two others were that any settlement
would be a work of time, and that no permanent tranquillity could be
attained without overcoming the Mahdi.

Immediately on arriving at Khartoum he perceived that the evacuation
of the Soudan, with safety to the garrison and officials, as well as
the preservation of the honour of England and Egypt, would necessarily
be a work of time, and only feasible if certain measures were taken in
his support, which, considerable as they may have appeared at the
moment, were small and costless in comparison with those that had
subsequently to be sanctioned. Six weeks sufficed to show Gordon that
he would get no material help from the Government, and he then began
to look elsewhere for support, and to propound schemes for pacifying
the Soudan and crushing the Mahdi in which England and the Government
would have had no part. Hence his proposal to appeal to wealthy
philanthropists to employ Turkish troops, and in the last resort to
force his way to the Equator and the Congo. Even that avenue of safety
was closed to him by the illusory prospect of rescue held out to him
by the Government at the eleventh hour, when success was hardly
attainable.

For the sake of clearness it will be well to give here a brief summary
of the siege during the six months that followed the arrival of
General Gordon and the departure of Colonel Stewart on 10th September.
The full and detailed narrative is contained in Colonel Stewart's
Journal, which was captured on board his steamer. This interesting
diary was taken to the Mahdi at Omd