ked for you."

Funny thing, but Ma ain't got a mite of dramatic sense. I just can't
understand it, after her having been with the circus so long on the
trapeze, until she got too heavy after I come; and since then in the
wardrobe-end of the theater, and all. I ain't never been able to break
her in to none of the refinements of life, either, and she will go into
the kitchen for all I say; and some day I just know she'll call me
Gilligan in public. And a nice laugh that'll get!

But, anyhow, I usually do what she says, because Ma is a fine trainer;
and--believe you me--I wouldn't be able to hold on to Jim's neck and
swing out straight twenty times round, like I do--or did--only for her
and her keeping me on the job like she's done. The only other trouble
with Ma is, she can't seem to properly understand that it's my artistic
temperament which has brought in the cash--that and some good looks, and
me realizing that this refined parlor-dancing stuff would go over big.
Of course Jim's being able to wear a dress suit like he'd been born in
it has helped some, even aside from being such a fine partner; which
brings me back, as they say, to the tale.

Well, I done my exercise, and so forth, and then I had Musette bring up
the sofa, a elegant gilt one--for we got what Ma calls Looie-the-Head-Waiter
stuff in our parlor--to the window, so's I could lay and look dreamily
out over the autos on the Drive to the ships in the river; you know--the
German ships which have been taking out their naturalization papers, or
something. And, as I lay there thinking, I come to the conclusion that
if I told about the split I better tell all, including my own
enlistment.

Oh, how well I can now understand why many men enlist, having been
through it all myself! And how then they long to get out, and can't, and
realize that they was boobs! And how they learn that they weren't boobs
after all, once they got used to it! Do you get me?

Well, anyways, I decided to tell the whole story, which, of course,
begun at Ruby Roselle's party.

I think I don't hardly need to state that I don't generally go with that
Roselle crowd. No acrobatic dancer could and keep her health.
And--believe you me--every drawing-room dance act that is worth a
thousand dollars a week has acrobatics, and good sound acrobatics, as
its base. Well! As far as Ruby Roselle and her crowd is concerned, far
be it from me to pass any remarks. But any one in the theatrical line
will t